Lingerer
by Stessa
Summary: Miley was bro-bro-broken, and Lilly didn't know how to fix her. Liley.
1. Chapter One: Broken

**LINGERER **

**Chapter One **

**Broken**

_Broken: adj. To be fractured, smashed or splintered; not functioning. _

The air was filled with pain and the colours of red and blue.

People were watching, wide-eyed, curious, damned-to-hell people were watching the too good-looking men as they struggled with the weight in their hands and upon their shoulders.

The atmosphere was tight and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her ears were ringing with pain and pressure, and the sounds of cries in pain and sadness made her ears burst, she could hear her own heart trumping, pumping blood through the veins in her body and the slash in her forehead.

Her good, beat-up truck Casper was breathing out smoke, breathing out the last of his life, and the entire right side of him was smashed so much that it couldn't be possible for Casper to ever be the same car again. The red car wasn't nearly as ruined and neither was the couple inside of it. The woman was crying, but she looked perfectly healthy, as her boyfriend comforted her and spoke with a man all dressed in white.

She felt herself shiver and lifted her hand to brush away the blood that was streaming from her forehead and into her eyes. Everything was so cold and unpleasant, and she thought that she might never get over it. She wrapped her arms around herself and ignored the people buzzing around her, doing what they had to, and instead let her eyes wander to the big, white car that caused her ears to ring so badly.

The siren was still going and the doors were open. They were pushing the stretcher into the open back, speaking loudly across the withering body beneath the sheets. Her eyes followed the movement of a young paramedic as he ran back to Casper to look for something. There was a trail of blood coming from her good car and she swore she had seen a piece of skin on the broken window's glass before she had pulled herself out of there.

She licked her lips and didn't wince once when it wasn't the familiar taste of raspberries, but the taste of iron and blood that collided with her tongue instead. She let her gaze fall to the ground and spat it out.

"Excuse me, miss?"

The sound of an actual person, actually speaking to her during this disaster almost made her jump out of her own skin, but she appreciated the cover he put around her shoulders so she wouldn't shake so badly. She looked up at him with eyes she knew were horrified, but saw that he was another paramedic, and he did look kind.

She breathed out shakily.

He said, "Do you have any ID?"

She slowly reached into her pocket. Her fingers were stiff from the cold and it was hard for them to get into the small pockets of her black and red check patterned jeans. She got the card out of her pocket and gave it to him, before her eyes again moved to the white car, where they were now closing the door, getting ready to drive off.

She could hear another siren on the way.

The man studied the card, but looked up at her again, "Alright, Lillian Truscott," he said, he probably wanted to sound kind, but Lilly didn't think he was doing such a good job, but maybe that was because she didn't want to talk, "that's your friend over there?" he nodded towards the ambulance that now closed the last door and quickly drove off, into the night.

Lilly just watched it for more than a minute, completely lost in thoughts of what would happen, and how they ended up in this nightmare, before she tightened her grip on the cover around her body and her broken heart, "Yeah…" she whispered, finding it incredible hard to speak; her voice was hoarse and just as broken.

He placed an arm around her, and Lilly let him lead her wherever they went, because her legs almost couldn't hold her any longer and her head was pounding, and she just needed _care_.

"What's her name?" he wanted to know now, and Lilly knew she had to tell him, because her leg was really hurt and there had been blood and tears and pain everywhere when they crashed Casper.

She looked up at the man, and could feel the tears spilling out of her eyes, because reality could be rough and this didn't look too good, "Miley Stewart." She whispered, and as the picture of Miley's leg entered her mind, Lilly bent over and was happy that the paramedic was there to hold her upright, because she started puking every content of her stomach up, and onto the ground right beneath her feet.

He brushed her hair back slightly, and she stood there, heaving for air, "We're going to take you to a hospital, Lillian," he kindly told her, even if she had already known that and would have preferred he called her Lilly, "and then you're going to have to help us reach Miley's family."

Lilly looked up again, didn't bother wiping the drool off of her chin.

Miley's leg was hurt.

--

Robbie came rushing into the emergency room, he had fear across his face and in his body, and Lilly saw immediately that he was scared of what he would hear because the only thing she had told him in the phone was –Miley-, -hurt-, -hospital-, -now-, and so he had hung up the phone and broken possibly every speed limit on the way.

He rushed to the front desk, and started to ramble off in front of the poor girl standing there, and Lilly stood up from the plastic seat she had been sitting at, and even if her head pounded beneath the tight wrap it was in, and she felt a whole lot of dizzy, she stood up and crossed the room, planting a not-so-steady, but very-shaky hand on Robbie's elbow.

He looked so worried.

"You're worried." She whispered, and dragged him with her, as he looked relieved to see her there with him, so at least he didn't seem so alone. She briefly wondered where Jackson was when they sat down on each a chair.

"Jackson is parking the car." Robbie explained, and brushed her cheek gently because it worried him to see her so pale and hurt. "Where is Miley? Is she alright? Are you alright? What the heck happened?"

He asked so much, but Lilly knew what she had to say first because that was the most important thing, "Miley's in surgery. Her leg is hurt."

The look across his face was not good and Lilly tried to smile.

"Don't worry, it'll be alright, Mr. S." she whispered, tried to console her best friend's father, he needed that, she could see it clearly.

He took in another shaky breath, "What happened?" he asked again.

"Casper crashed." Lilly explained to him, pained by the memory of her good ole car and the way that red one had smashed right into him, "This woman and this man drove right into us. They're not even hurt." She could hear that her voice wasn't the usual happy self, but she was so affected by this, "Casper is ruined, Miley is ruined, my head hurts."

"Your head really hurts."

It was like he hadn't realized that his daughter was in surgery, or maybe he had and realized that he pretty much couldn't do anything about it right now, so that was why he talked to her. She wished she could have been in surgery instead of Miley, because the other girl definitely did not deserve this; her leg had to be fine.

Lilly swallowed loudly and looked up, glancing around the room, her eyes clouded and she almost couldn't see. She should probably call her mom; she'd want to know.

"You should probably call your mom." Robbie said, his voice was low and shaky, but he looked alright, "She'd want to know."

Lilly swallowed louder and reached for her cell phone, just as Jackson came through the doors. He seemed to see them immediately, or maybe he just had a feeling where they would be sitting. He crossed the room and patted her bandaged head before he kneeled down in front of her.

"Are you alright, Lilster?" he questioned, and Lilly couldn't help but smile even if this day was messed up, because Jackson was being sweet and that didn't happen too often.

She cringed because some sort of pain shot through her bones when she pulled up her lips, and she figured she might need the doctor to take a better look at that once they got some time, "I'm alright…" she whispered, staring into the caring eyes of her best friend's brother, but Miley's leg wasn't, "But Miley's leg isn't."

"It isn't?"

"It isn't."

Robbie Ray cringed too, "She's in surgery."

Jackson nodded as if he understood everything, even if he probably didn't, but it seemed better to pretend for the sake of his father, "Have you spoken to anyone?"

Both Lilly and Robbie shook their heads, no. No, because Lilly had only seen them wheel her into some room right when someone was putting that thing on her head and she had been out of it on drugs and pain and Lilly understood that, so she hadn't questioned anything, she only knew that Miley's leg was hurt, Miley was in surgery, broken.

Broken.

Miley was broken and Lilly wondered about this, as she wondered about so many other things, she wondered if Miley would ever be whole again, and if she was the one who had to gather up the pieces and make them fit together in the right way.

"Where's Mrs. T?" Jackson wondered, looking around the waiting area, but of course he didn't see Mrs. T, because Mrs. T wasn't there, so how would he see her? She wasn't there, that's why he couldn't see her.

Lilly said, "She's not here."

"That's why I can't see her." Jackson said and stood up from his kneeling, taking a seat on another plastic chair (except this one was a different colour), he glanced at his father again, before looking at Lilly again-again, "You should probably call your mom." He said, "She'd want to know."

Lilly didn't reply because she didn't want to call her mom, since she didn't want her mom to know just yet. She would be weird and freak out, because even if she was cooler than most moms, this wasn't good and Lilly would rather her head rest in peace than having to listen to how much her mother could talk and talk and talk and babble about how she should drive safer and how she'd never get another car.

"I should call Hannah's bookings." Robbie whispered; he was out of it, but Lilly didn't blame him, "I have to cancel everything. She had a live appearance tomorrow with Colin Lassiter. I've got to cancel that."

He really did have to cancel that, Lilly agreed, because as for now on… Miley was broken.

"I've got to cancel that." He nodded, reached into his pocket for his cell phone, "And the next many shows. She has to rest in peace and get well again."

Lilly whispered, "We have to unbreak her," because Miley had to rest in peace too, just like she wanted her head to have peace from her mother's babbly talktalktalk.

Jackson's breathing stopped for a second and Robbie didn't say anything before he stood up to go make those calls. It seemed like an odd time to do so at, but it might have been because he was so worried that he needed to occupy himself.

Jackson's breathing seemed more normal, "He needs to occupy himself."

Explained.

Lilly nodded her head up and down, explained, explained, explained.

"You have blood in your hair."

She reached a hand up to touch her hair, now. It was resting against her chest in soft cascades, except maybe it didn't look too soft right now, but more broken, as well. She held it up and her eyes almost fell in or out or whatever when she saw how much blood that had bled from the bleeding wound in her forehead and onto the locks that used to be so golden, but now smelled more like iron and seemed more reddish (but that was probably the blood that had bled because of the bleeding).

"I do have blood in my hair."

She wondered.

How could blood fall out or stay in, because sometimes you don't bleed, but you still have wounds on your body, or more likely your soul. The blood will probably only come out when it's real wounds and not the heartbreaking kind of wounds that only emerge when you feel really sad or broken about something.

Broken.

Broken, broken, broken.

The word tasted weirdly at the tip of her tongue.

"Broken."

Jackson stared oddly at her, but it was the truth, Miley was broken, so maybe she bled on the inside, even if her leg had been hurt and she bled on the outside too?

"I should go call Oliver." Lilly whispered, staring oddly at Jackson because he stared oddly at her, and she stood up and went away just like Robbie had done, because she needed peace for her head and her conversation, and maybe Oliver would come or maybe he wouldn't and just calm her down over the phone.

But she really needed him.

"Lilly?"

It was Oliver and she had never been happier to hear his voice, "Ollie…" she whispered, because she had known him for so long and these past years they had grown so much closer, ever since she told him her secret, the secret that not even Miley knew because it was about her, and Oliver had been her confident, "Ollie, Miley is broken…" she could feel the tears building up in her throat and for a second she managed to wonder if she would be crying in front of all those people in the hospital, but it was only for a second, because then the tears started spilling and she couldn't wonder anymore since she was actually crying, even if she didn't want to.

"Lilly?" Oliver repeated, he sounded worried, and Lilly wished he could hold her in his arms, "Lilly, where are you? There was a car crash… it's in the news. It looked like Casper, I'm so worried."

"Ollie?" Lilly repeated, repeated his name because that didn't taste so weird at the tip of her tongue, "Ollie, Casper is dead… Miley is broken, we're at the hospital and my head hurts." She paused and felt the tears run freely and her contacts were itching, and her head was pounding and everything seemed wrong in the world, "Ollie, I need you to come hold me…"

Her voice was a whisper, but Oliver heard every word,

"I'll be there quickly, Lilly." He said, tried to sound brave over the phone, but it didn't work too well, because it was also his friend in there, the brown-haired, beautiful girl who always seemed to give them a smile on their face, "Have you called your mom, Lils? Have you?"

Lilly shook her head, even if he couldn't see her.

"You should probably call your mom. She'd want to know." He said.

How come everyone told her to do call her mom?

Oh right, because she'd want to know.

"She'd want to know." Lilly repeated, before she hung up the phone and stared blankly at the small screen, a picture of herself and Miley giving her the chills, itching, pounding, wrong, "I should probably call my mom." She whispered, and dialed the familiar number to her mother's cell phone, "Miley is broken. She'd want to know."

--

It felt really good to have Oliver's strong arms around her, and his whispers soothing in her ear, while he swayed them back and forth, back and forth, backandforth, really, really good.

"She's broken." Lilly told him, because they hadn't spoken since he came and Jackson was staring into space and Robbie was pacing, back and forth, back and forth, backandforth.

Oliver soothed, "Shh, I know, Lils, she's broken, I know." He was kind and Lilly felt like it would all work out now, "Talk to me about something else until your mother arrives. Talk to me about your evening, where did you girls go?"

Lilly paused, "Our evening?" it felt weird to think about the fact that something had been going on before Casper crashed, they'd had a life of some sort, been somewhere together for the evening, they'd probably had fun, but… Lilly couldn't remember where, "I can't remember where." She turned her head around and looked up at Oliver, who looked down, worried.

"Your head is hurt." He said, brushed a free finger across her covered forehead, "You can't remember right now, Lils, but it'll probably come."

She said, "Don't you know where we went?"

Her voice was as small as the one she used to have when she was little.

Oliver squeezed his eyes together, "I know you went out for dinner. Lils you… you remember how you feel about Miley, right? How you told me how you felt?"

Lilly swallowed hard, she'd always remember that, remember how she told Oliver about the secret that not even Miley knew because it was about her, "I remember…" she got out, because it sometimes pained her to say it aloud, "I remember how my heart beats faster, how I want to do good and make her proud, how I seem to fly away when she takes my hand and how my head starts spinning whenever she gives me a hug, I remember Ollie, I'll never forget."

"You shouldn't forget." Oliver reassured her, because he knew how much Lilly was in love with Miley and had been for awhile; he knew all about it, because Lilly had told _him_ and _not_ Miley… why hadn't she told Miley? The reasons seemed so stupid now, "Lilly, you said you would never tell her, but… but you did."

Back and forth, back and forth, backandforthbackandforth.

Confused, "I did?"

"You did." He confirmed, and Lilly swore her heart stopped.

Wondering how that turned out, "How did that turn out?" she asked.

He smiled warmly at her and she had a feeling that the answer was 'good', "You told her only yesterday, I know because you called me up and screamed it to me on the phone. I guessed you were doing a victory dance and right as I stepped by later, you were still busy doing exactly that in your backyard."

Lilly laughed, but again, her cheeks hurt.

"So today was your first date." Oliver finished, lovingly.

Lilly tasted the words at the tip of her tongue, "Today was our first date."

They didn't taste weird, and Oliver mhm-mm'd as an answer.

"But I can't remember." Lilly breathed out, watched as Robbie walked and walked (back and forth, back and forth, backandforthbackandforth), "I can't remember our first date." She blinked, "Did we tell anyone?"

"I don't think so." Oliver shook his head and Lilly smiled up at him, hoping Miley could remember when she wasn't in surgery and that even if she was broken, she'd still date her until she was unbroken again.

"Mrs. T!"

Lilly looked up at Jackson's outburst and saw her mother approach them, heels click-click-clicking against the floor as she ran, "Lillian!" she said, dropped to her bare knees and wrestled Lilly out the embrace she enjoyed so much and into her own, stroking the bandage, as if Lilly could really feel anything through it.

Lilly's eyes were going roundroundround with Robbie Ray.

Back and forth, back and forth, backandforthbackandforth, _back and forth_.

"Mom…" Lilly whispered, pulled back and stared into the kind eyes of her mother, who thankfully didn't babbly talktalktalk, but just seemed interested in knowing that everything was well, "Miley is broken…"

A tear fell down again and Lilly cursed herself for crying so damn much.

Heather Truscott smiled sadly at her daughter, but turned around when someone stopped behind her, and Lilly only saw a man in white.

Jackson stopped staring, Robbie stopped pacing, Oliver stopped shaking, Heather stopped smiling and Lilly stopped breathing.

"Miley Ray Stewart?"

* * *

_Oh wow, can you believe that? I finally pull through with my promise of a multi-chaptered Liley fic. I had a poll in my profile on which couple I should write next and this couple was in the top three so when I got this idea I just went for it. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, and please leave your thoughts in a review, I'd like to know what you think?_

_I can't promise to update on a regular basis, I currently have three stories of my own going on (plus joint fic), and school is taking up pretty much all my time, but I will try to write as much as possible. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana. _


	2. Chapter Two: Gone

**Chapter Two**

**Gone**

_Gone: adj. To be absent, departed or advanced beyond hope or recall; ruined, lost._

It was so weird to see her like that. She was bandaged up in that too white bed with too pale cheeks and Lilly cringed just by looking at her; she had never thought she'd feel this way while looking at Miley, but she did. It was a horrible sight and she wished she could make it all go away. She wished that it was some horrible dream that she'd soon wake up from; she prayed that it was, but unfortunately it didn't seem to be like that.

It was the horrible reality, and _it _was gone.

Lilly brushed a tear away from her now washed-off face. Her hair was tied back in a messy bun which was something she never did, she had on some loose sweatpants and a t-shirt. She had had four stitches in her forehead when the doctors finally had time to really look at her, and it pounded badly, but it didn't matter. Miley was the one who hurt, she was the broken one. Lilly had taken a shower and sort of refreshed herself; felt much better to get out of those dirty, infected clothes and into something cleaner that her brother brought for her the minute he heard what had happened. She didn't feel good (how could she when Miley was so broken?), but she felt slightly better.

But she was crying more and more this day, because it was horrible, it was reality, and it was _gone_.

Miley hadn't even woken up yet after her surgery. They were all so concerned about what she'd say. She had her whole identity thing and Robbie Ray was worried what might happen with that, and Lilly was worried too, but hadn't given that a thought; she just thought that Miley had to be okay; there was no point for Lilly herself to make it through this if Miley came out different, if she came out broken and wrong.

Lilly took a seat in the hard chair by the window and studied her nails in deep thought. She still had some fucking dried blood under there. She stared at it deeply, sitting there beyond her usually dirt-full nails; it shone red and bright and she wondered how she hadn't noticed it when she took a shower, she wondered how this could happen to them, how their perfect evening could end up like his, and how it was… gone.

When the doctor came out to see them, he had looked pretty happy; she had been worried, of course, of what they might want to hear, but she had also known that it would be almost impossible for them to lose Miley because of something like this. It'd be absolutely horrendous if she would have passed away, and she hadn't, she _hadn't_, and that made Lilly so very happy of course, but… he had had other horrible news, and Robbie had cried, and Jackson had stared even more into space, and Lilly had… felt numb.

It was really _gone_.

G

O

N

E

_Gone_.

She couldn't describe how this made her feel, she was messed up all over the place and how could their perfect evening had turned from perfect to… to nightmare? She couldn't remember anything from their date, it was like a huge black whole in her memory, but she could remember how Miley made her feel because those kind of things were rare, and most people didn't have that, so she treasured it, and it was okay, she knew Miley would understand it because she had a huge gap in her forehead only sowed together with four stitches. The thing that worried Lilly the most now was if Miley would remember. It didn't seem like she hurt her head, but maybe… maybe she was too broken to really notice.

She hoped that nothing really would change once things went back to as normal as they could be. Of course Miley would be a bit different at first, but Lilly would always love her. She had loved her since they first met, and she'd always love Miley like no other, but maybe Miley wouldn't be ready for that, maybe Miley would be gone like _that_ was, and… and, and they wouldn't be Miley and Lilly anymore.

But _no_. They would be good. Nothing had to change between them. They were Miley and Lilly and they had made it through tough things before. They were there for each other and once Miley finally got out of this hospital then she'd go back to school with Lilly and they'd be like they always had been; dork and dorkier.

Yes,

_that_ was the way it was going to be.

Once horrible, reality and gone was over, it was going to be.

Lilly let her eyes wander to Miley's body again, and couldn't help but let them linger south of Miley's hips, it was just too weird to comprehend, she couldn't help it. How come all this had to happen to them? It didn't seem fair, did it? It didn't seem right that it had to be them.

Heck, it _wasn't_.

Lilly sighed deeply, blood-sweat-and-tears, and let her hand rest against the piece of paper in her pocket. It was curled up, crumbled, and the pen she usually wrote with was almost dried-out. But her fingers moved with a will of their own, got the paper out, curled it open, took the lid off of her pen and let it press against the white for a few moments.

As Miley moaned in her slumber, Lilly bit her lip.

_What happens with the broken? _

she couldn't help but write, because she was so very afraid that she'd soon have to know. Miley really was broken, so Lilly hoped that what happened to them, wasn't something bad.

Blood from her chewed-lips and stitched-together-forehead, sweet trailing down her hugging-pen-palms, tears falling down her rosy-cheeks.

Blood sweat and tears.

--

And so when she entered the school, high school, Lilly was relieved to experience something else for a time. She was sad to leave Miley alone in the hospital, but her mother wanted her to see something other than white walls, see other colours than the red from all the hurt people, feel something else than tired and exhausted, do something other than sob. Heather wanted her to get back out there, and the only reason Lilly did it was because she knew Miley would want that for her, too.

Miley wouldn't want her to pin around this day; they'd see each other after school. Miley would be awake and Lilly would go there as soon as the last bell had rung.

So Lilly tried to keep that smile on her face; she wanted the sad face to be absolutely gone. She had few classes today; including one of her favourites, Creative Writing, so she would be alright. Her bag was packed with all she needed, including her very important _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_ and therefore she felt like she would be able to go through the day.

She looked around herself and her palms started sweating; why did she feel like everyone was looking at her? Why _were_ they staring? It seemed like everyone had stopped doing what they were supposed to, and now looked at her instead? That couldn't possibly be possible. Something trailed down her forehead and she lifted her sweaty hand to brush more drops off of her head, but when she stared at her open palm, it wasn't sweat she saw there, it was all red and she stopped breathing, only to lean herself against the nearest locker.

She closed her eyes and felt pain shoot through her forehead as the tears started pressing behind her screwed-closed eyelids (one, two), opened them again, only to see Amber and Ashley standing right before her (three, four, five), talkingtalkingtalking (six), but she could only hear nothing, so she screwed her eyes together again (seven) and once the tears became too much, she came face to face with Oliver (eight, nine); the blood trickled down the side of her head, and she wondered how the blood could come out from a stitched wound.

(ten)

_they'll crush me down or push me in_  
'_cause they don't know where i have been__  
i close my eyes and count to ten  
i stood my ground, just stood my ground_

"Lils, you're bleeding."

He pressed his too long sleeve against her forehead and Lilly felt herself smile weakly. She knew he was only there to help her and she appreciated that.

She breathed out, still not moving away from that wall of lockers (_backed into the wall, trip me up to watch me fall, they never know me at all, i'm a misfit_), "They all know Oliver."

His eyes were full of questions, but hers were only covered in stains and she couldn't see.

"They knew that we crashed Casper. They all know, Ollie."

He grabbed her arm tightly, holding on to her like his life depended on it, even if it might be the other way around, "I'm gonna take you to the nurse, Lils." He whispered, and started almost-pushing her down the hallway; all were staring at her, but Lilly only felt the hotness of her body-fluids, all over her face; blood trailing, sweat running, tears falling.

_Misfit_.

She stopped walking and turned to him, her eyes huge with nothing but horror, "I don't need the nurse, Ollie, I just need a really good band aid."

Oliver shook his head, "If your stitches opened, which is so weird and almost impossible, you'll have to go to the hospital already."

Lilly shook her head, "My stitches aren't open, I'm just really worried, Oliver. Give me a band aid, okay?"

She felt like her voice was determined which was the whole point of this; she didn't need a nurse, she needed a band aid.

Oliver also shook his head, "You're weird."

"Misfit?"

"_No_,"

he emphasized this,

"weird."

_misfit, i'm not cool, won't quit, they're so cruel, misfit, i take the fall_

"Oh Lilly, how is the head?"

Amber.

"Did you lose any brain cells?"

Ashley.

"But why? That can't happen."

Amber. _Again_.

"You don't have any!"

Amber _and_ Ashley.

Ooooh, _tsssh_,

and Lilly didn't even have the strength to argue back, (pathetic), so Oliver pushed-walked her again, just to get away from all the staring people. Lilly felt her eyes fall shut and relied on only Oliver to lead the way, for once, she thought that maybe he could handle that.

She was pushed against another wall,

"So, do I get that band aid for you while you wait here?"

She opened her eyes again and smiled thankfully at him, "Yeah."

He winked for a second before he left her alone, except she wasn't alone, because people were still staring (or at least she felt like they were; she didn't feel alone), so she squeezed her eyes together in pain and anger, and _don't look at me that way again, i stare 'em down, just stare 'em down. _

--

(One two three, his day had started out like this:

Calls, meetings, tears, and four five six,

closed eyes, another call, driving to the hospital, while seven and eight and nine,

doctors, doctors, doctors, white, red and white, watchingMileywatchingMileywatchingMiley, ten,

tears, tears, tears)

Robbie Ray was all in tears, and he couldn't seem to make it stop.

--

So her only escape was her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_, and it was perfect because all about this class was lyrics and poetry and writing, and for her that meant escaping.

To put it like that might seem horrible, but it was reality and that she wanted to be gone.

Lilly had thought about _that_ all day, and that was the horrible reality.

She brushed her finger against the butterfly band aid on her forehead and was surprised to feel herself smile weirdly. It reminded her of that old saying; it wasn't really a good saying, but today had felt a lot like it; all blood, sweat and tears.

Her hand shot into the air before she managed to control herself.

Ms. Scribo smiled at her favourite student, "Yes, Ms. Truscott?"

(She had sort of interrupted the lecture, but today, no one seemed to mind, least of all Lilly herself)

"Where did the term blood, sweat and tears come from?"

The entire class missed Miley's presence and they all stared at Lilly (because they _knew_), with their horrible looks, but in reality… they weren't supposed to be there, they were supposed to be _gone _already.

"Does anyone know?"

(At this point Lilly wasn't sure if Ms. Scribo was talking about the phrase or the crash-)

No one answered, nah, not really.

"Alright, so the phrase-"

(-oh, she was definitely talking about the phrase now, Lilly wasn't o confused anymore.)

"-is from a famous Second World War speech by Winston Churchill. The original quotation was actually 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat', but now it is shortened to what we know it as today; blood, sweat and tears." She paused with another smile in Lilly's direction, "Why do you ask, Ms. Truscott?"

She was just wondering.

Lilly felt herself shrug, "Just wonderin'."

Ms. Scribo nodded and turned around to write their next assignment on the blackboard while she explained it. Lilly took notes, this might be her best and favourite subject, but her mind was pretty much on Miley; Miley in the hospital, Miley the Broken, (Miley her lover?), Miley – gone.

"Hey Lilly," Oliver was whispering right next to her, and Lilly felt her skin rise slightly, "I'll drive you to the hospital straight after school. I wanna be there too and since…" a swallow, "Since Casper is gone, I'm offering you a ride."

One two three four five (do not get mad at Oliver for being kind) six seven eight nine "Deal, Ollie," _ten_.

--

Robbie's hand was shaky on her back, but still it felt reassuring.

Oliver, Jackson, Robbie, Lilly. _There_.

They were all there; they needed to see Miley. She was awake, the doctor in white had said, and Lilly couldn't help but feel excited about what was to happen. She would finally talk to her Miley again, because it felt like she hadn't seen her forever. Those past days had been so long, hours until no ends, and a countless of blood, sweat and tears.

Lilly was wondering who should go in first; who should have the important talk.

Robbie said, "Lilly, I was wondering who should go in first; who should have the important talk." He nodded optimistically, even if it pained him to say this, "And I think it should be you."

Oh yeah, she thought so too.

"Really?" she mumbled, face screwed together in pain and wonderment, "Are you sure, Mr. S?"

Robbie Ray nodded again (painpainpainpainpain), "Really."

He had confirmed it, and so then Lilly felt the weight on her shoulders, knowing she'd be the bearer of horrible news. His reassuring, but shaky hand lost contact with her sweaty back, ad so she stepped into the room, heart pumping blood through her forehead (not her wound anymore, since those stitches weren't open).

Miley was still on her back, staring at the ceiling. The doctors had said that her body was very bruised and she couldn't really move, that was why she still lay there; they shouldn't worry, she'd do fine.

And she smiled when she saw Lilly, her head moved to the side.

"Lilly." She whispered, her voice sounded broken, she did look broken, perhaps she really _was _broken.

Or maybe she was just as much gone?

Lilly choked back a sob, "Miles…" she whispered, moved up closer, placing a hand on her cheek. She was pale, but she looked happy to see a familiar face. Lilly swallowed loudly and kneeled down next to her, only so they could be on eyelevel with each other, "How are you feeling, babe?" she questioned, knowing it was stupid, but also knowing she had to say something – anything.

Miley closed her eyes, only a second, "I…" struggling, breathing, one two three four, "I'm okay…"

"Got all your fingers?"

Holding out her hand, "Five."

Whispering.

Rapid breathing.

Six seven eight.

"But Lilly… I can't…" nine, "I can't feel anything in my right leg…" pause, fear written across her face; Miley was brokenbrokenbroken, "That's not good… is it?"

Lilly's face dropped.

Ten,

"Miley…" pausepausepausepause, "There's something I need to tell you. It's-" oh no, no stuttering _now_, "It's horrible, Miley, but it's – it's true, it's reality, it's… it's gone."

Another huge swallow.

Miley's head pecked up, "_Gone_? What's gone?"

Sweating, "Your leg, Miley. They couldn't save your leg. It's gone."

Tears. Immediately, "Gone?"

Lilly nodded, "I'm so sorry, Miley."

Yeah, Miley was sorry too. But on the bright side, there was no blood this time.

Blank look, all away from there, "Can you get my dad now, Lilly?"

She took a step back, heart beating-beating-beating. Doors open, close, "Mr. S, Miley needs you… She's – she's broken, I think… I think she might be just as gone."

* * *

_Hi ya'll. Thank you so much for the reviews for the first chapter, I am glad that some at least seemed to read and enjoy it. This story is not particularly cheery and it takes a lot out of me to write a chapter, so I really appreciate the feedback. I hope this chapter was enjoyable too, and please do leave another review?_

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana, and the lyrics are 'Misfit' by The Murmurs. _


	3. Chapter Three: Forgotten

**Chapter Three **

**Forgotten **

_Forgotten: adj. To be no longer paid attention to, disregarded or lost; not noticed inadvertently. _

(It had started out like this:

Miley. Lilly. In love. Confession with a bit of kissing. Forgotten date. Car crash. Car crash. Car crash. Moving on.

Whoops,

_that_ hadn't happened yet.)

--

It had been more than a fucking week, and Lilly was officially losing her mind. She felt like leaving it all behind, like letting it be in the past, like it should be forgotten. _Now_. It had been horrible for her to see her best friend in so much pain; it was something she would never forget, because Miley had been slipping in and out of the real world and on some days it felt like it was almost them again, like they would get through this and be okay, but on other days Miley had been so broken, so gone, and Lilly almost hadn't dared to go into that hospital room.

But she was always sure that it was going to be alright. She may have doubted it for only second, but she had decided to forget about that lack in judgement and think positively. It was going to be okay, _they_ were going to be okay. She was sure that Miley would feel better in no time. It was tough for her, sure, but she had so many people who supported her; they were all there to make her feel better. She'd be out of the hospital in no time, and it could all be forgotten, be in the past.

Though things hadn't exactly turned out like that. It had been more than a fucking week, but the car crash was not yet forgotten, Miley still seemed so broken, and Lilly didn't know what to do. Everyone had in some way showed Miley their support, whether it be with flowers, visits, chocolate or whatever, they had done it, she was not forgotten, and Lilly understood why. But she just felt like… she felt like maybe _she_ was forgotten.

It was horrible for her to think that way, she knew that, but she couldn't help it. It had always been about Miley, and usually Lilly was okay with that, but now… she really wished that she would go some attention too. She understood why people were so concerned the first days. Miley was the one in the hospital, with the leg that wasn't there, and she had just gotten four stitches, and it was natural that they were more concerned about her. But it had been a fucking week now, and Lilly hadn't gotten any time to share her demons, to get everything out, no one seemed to want to know how she was doing after the crash, they all asked her about Miley. She felt so forgotten, so left out. No matter where she went, and who she talked to – it was all about Miley.

On a given day it would happen at least four times.

Mr. Corelli:

"Heey Truscott, how's your buddy Stewart doing?"

"Fine, Mr. Corelli, just fine."

_Ask about me, ask about me, ask about me. _

Saint Sarah:

"Oh Lilly, I wanted you to have this so you could give it to Miley. My parents heard about the crash and what happened with her leg, and they felt so bad and kept asking me how it was going, so they made this for her, it's supposed to cleanse her soul, and they were thinking about starting a charity to gather money so we could all help pay for the prosthesis. So anyway, I've gotta go help the less privileged, but could you give that to her? And oh, how _is_ Miley?"

"She's… doing better, thank you Sarah, I'll make sure she gets this. She's doing good."

_But I'm not! I think… my ears are bleeding. _

Oliver:

"Lilly, did you talk to Miley yesterday, where you there? I couldn't make it 'cuz Mom wanted me to do push-ups with her, but how is she doing?"

"It's okay Oliver, and she's doing… great!"

_Hey, it's not okay Oliver, she might be doing great, but why don't you ask about me? I have something I need to say to you before it eats me away. Ask how I'm doing… please._

Heather Truscott:

"So Lillian, how was Miley today when you went to see her after school? Is she feeling better?"

"Sure Mom, Miley is feeling much better."

_Ask about me, Mom! I'm your daughter, ask how I am!_

But no one said, "Lilly, how are you doing?", so Lilly grabbed her board that evening and went to the only place she knew she could be herself.

--

Lilly felt numb.

In her backpack she had all her school books and the _Book of Lyrics: Do Not Look_, and tugged beneath her left arm she had her skateboard. She had everything that used to be the essence of her, except Miley by her side, and apparently the last thing was what did the trick. Without Miley there, Lilly wasn't herself, she was someone else, and it was worrying her, because that someone else was numb.

What if Miley never unbroke? What if she would always be the shallow body of a used-to-be happy girl? If Miley never felt better, Lilly wouldn't either. It was all connected like that, and even when skating in the park with all her friends at night, she still couldn't leave it all behind, she couldn't forget it, even if she wanted to with all her heart. It hang like a bad remembrance above her head, and she just wanted it all to go away.

She couldn't function without her Miley there. Sure, she was annoyed that it had been more than a fucking week and everyone still pampered around her because she felt forgotten, but she still wanted her to get better, so they could be better. It was like everything was on-pause right now. God sat on his white sky with his expensive universal remote control, and right now the lives of Lillian Truscott and Miley Ray Stewart were pretty much paused.

Lilly's insides cringed with fear and pain, and she felt so wrong. She was numb. Gone. She had officially left the building.

She had been staring at the door to Miley's room for at least fifteen minutes now, and maybe it was time to go in, so she wouldn't look like such a fool and spend her entire life trailing after the leftovers of the accident, and trying to fix something broken, that just kept playing the same song over and over again.

_Un_-pause please.

Lilly lifted her right hand and knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer. Not that she expected some sort of recognition, but everyday she hoped that they might have gotten further in their movie.

But of course, Like any other day, Miley didn't answer, Lilly went right in and sat in the chair in the corner.

"What's up, patient? How're you feeling today, Missy?" she mumbled from her seat, and tried to keep on that happy smile, but she was numb, gone, and not quite ready to leave this building.

Miley stared at her from her bed. She was popped up on pillows and her hair was in braids, she smelled like she hadn't had a proper shower in more than a fucking week, "I looked at my not-leg this morning. How do you think I'm feeling?"

_Like shit. At least I am._

"Like shit." Lilly said, and reached a hand into her bag, book, pencil, out, "At least I am."

"You still have your leg."

Lilly said, "I still have my leg."

Miley didn't reply, she stared at the blue, blue sky, and Lilly pressed the tip of her pen to her paper, and made a star next to the word 'broken', she wondered what the big deal was. Miley could still have the life she had before. It would take some time to get used to it, but it was going to be okay. She did not see what the big deal was.

"I do not see what the big deal is."

Miley flinched, "You still have your leg."

and Lilly said, "I still have my leg."

Miley's _hair _was in braids and it had been more than a fucking week, she was numb and gone, but still in the building, and she looked like she had lost a lot of weight, "I don't want to have an artificial leg."

Lilly didn't want to have something artificial either, but as Miley often pointed out, she still had her leg, "It's like a normal leg."

"But it's not normal."

Lilly wondered if they were ever going to talk about their date, for it had been a good night turned horrible, but there was something between them, and Miley had to work past this, so they could move on together.

_The broken souls of Earth,  
__Ruined with despair  
__Who puts them back together,  
__Who combs their fairy hair?_

"It's been more than a fucking week, Miley. Are you ever going to smile for me?"

Miley un-smiled, "No."

"A._fucking_.week."

Angry, "I fucking don't care!", and sad, "I have no fucking leg, I've lost my fucking essence, I've lost my fucking soul." Calming, calming down, saying fucking 'fucking' a lot, "I'm fucking weak and I wanna fucking be happy, but I _cannot_…" deep fucking breaths, calming, calmer down, "I cannot _smile_ for you, Lilly!"

Fucking care, fucking leg, fucking essence. She cannot fucking smile.

"You cannot fucking smile for me."

Lilly bit her lip and stared at her paper again. Miley was bro-bro-broken, and how on earth was she going to fix her? Bro-bro-broken souls of earth cannot just be fixed. And she wanted to cry, but she couldn't, and she wanted to know where her tears had gone, but it wasn't as easy as that. She wanted to forget everything and skateboard and write, but she was numb and gone and fuck, did she want to leave the building right now?

It was more than a fucking week ago! A fucking week, and yet Miley still felt the need to soak around in self-pity and Lilly loathed her for it, for she was better than that, they were worth more than that. She wanted Miley to face the world with a smile on her face again, and maybe ask her how she was doing, but it didn't come, she was forgotten.

Miley swallowed, "I'm getting my prosthesis tomorrow."

Lilly closed her _Book of Lyrics: Do Not Look_, "Good." Sigh, "Maybe you can start training your body again."

Miley seemed mad, but for some reason Lilly knew that she was happy she was there. Not that she ever showed it, but she knew Miley appreciated it, because she needed a way to get all her frustrations out. And who better to be mad at than the person you trust the most? Who better to talk to?

Lilly knew this was right.

But how would she talk to the person she trusted the most, when that person was so broken?

"I don't want to have an artificial leg."

Pointing out, "It's like a normal leg."

Annoyed, "I don't want it."

Lilly dropped her book in her bag and got the cleansing gift from Saint Sarah's parents out in stead, "Saint Sarah wants you to have this." She mumbled and dropped the tiny wooden figure on the white linnet.

Miley glanced down at it briefly, but said nothing.

Lilly didn't know what to say either, she wanted to tell Miley how angry she was, how much it annoyed her to see her like this, she wanted to say, "Listen,"

but all that came out was,

"not a thing."

Lilly stared at what had been a smiley Miley just more than a fucking week ago, and sighed. Grabbed her bag and board. She felt so wrong, so un-right. She pointed at the door, "I'm gonna go now. I've got… stuff."

Miley's head pecked up, and for a brief second, Lilly saw something of the real her, "You… you coming tomorrow?"

Because Miley needed her there, she appreciated her there, even if she didn't say so. But Lilly felt so numb, she wanted to go (she went), she simply left the building.

--

He called her up,

"Hey Lilly, do you want to have dinner with us tonight?"

and she gladly accepted and was there four minutes later.

"Thank you for having me, Mr. S."

"Jackson and I weren't sure if ya wanted to come, but it's been awhile since I ran into ya at the hospital." Robbie explained, while he made sure to fill his tacos with meat, "I just wanted to make sure you were good."

Lilly couldn't help but smile as she bit into her taco too. No one had asked her if she was good before, "I've been better, thank you for asking though."

It felt awesome, answering his question about being good.

"Ya dealing with the demons?" Robbie continued, with a heart warming smile, and suddenly Lilly didn't feel too numb, and she just nodded shortly, "I've got a couple of those myself." Robbie finished.

Jackson said, "I've seen 'em at school. They ask about Miley a lot."

"They care about Miley."

"I know they care." Jackson bit his taco, "But they don't ask about you."

Lilly shrugged, stared into the table, "They don't ask about me, they're just concerned about her. But it's tiring in the end."

Robbie stared at her like a real father would, "Of course. You were there too, Lilly. And you're hurting too. They just can't see it."

Lilly looked up at him again, because suddenly this conversation was about something so much else, "How do I make it stop?"

Jackson arched an eyebrow, Robbie said, "Just say the right words.", and Lilly nodded in understanding; she could say the right words.

And so the next day, it went like this.

Mr. Corelli:

"Heey Truscott, how's your buddy Stewart doing?"

"Fine, Mr. Corelli, just fine."

_Shit, what do I fucking say? _

Saint Sarah:

"Oh Lilly, I wanted you to have this so you could give it to Miley. My parents heard about the crash and what happened with her leg, and they felt so bad and kept asking me how it was going, so they made this for her, it's supposed to clear her head, and that charity they were thinking of starting, they're working on it already, I'm sure they'll contact Miley's father soon. So anyway, I've gotta go help the less privileged, but could you give that to her? And oh, how _is_ Miley?"

"She's… doing better, thank you Sarah, I'll make sure she gets this. She's doing good."

_Oh yeah, I really… need to make __**that**__ stop. _

Oliver:

"Lilly, did you talk to Miley yesterday, where you there? I couldn't make it 'cuz Mom wanted me to run thirty miles with her, but how is she doing?"

"It's okay Oliver, and she's doing… great!"

_Alright, I should be able to talk to Oliver. Why don't I just tell him to go fucking visit Miley and say no to his mom? I should talk to him!!_

Heather Truscott:

"So Lillian, how was Miley today when you went to see her after school? Is she feeling better?"

"Sure Mom, Miley is feeling much better."

_Shit, I can't even tell my own mother to stop? _

And still no one said, "Lilly, how are you doing?", so Lilly grabbed her board that evening and went to the only place she knew she could be herself, except… tonight she _couldn't_.

Skateboard friends:

"Lilly! We heard! Hows-?"

(Oh yeah, them asking – that _really_ ticked her off)

"Miley? She's numb. Gone. She's left the building."

(And they were scared for a second, because Lilly rarely got mad)

Word got around, and for some reason-

people started asking a little less about Miley,

and a little more about Lilly.

(Lilly really liked that, but _shhh_, she didn't want anyone to know, because then they might think she felt forgotten before, and that wasn't good; they shouldn't know about her fucking demons.)

* * *

_Hi there. Thank you all so much for the kind reviews. They mean a lot to me. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I've got a question for you all, though. My summary? That's not good, is it? I keep thinking I should change it, but I really can't think of anything. If one of you have got an idea, please do let me know._

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana. _


	4. Chapter Four: Crossed

**Chapter Four**

**Crossed**

_Crossed: adj. To interfere with, object or deceive; to be annoyed._

_It_ actually didn't look too bad.

_She _looked peaceful.

_Lilly _didn't know what to do or what to feel. She had been huddled up in 'her' chair for more than two hours, and her legs were crossed and her emotions were crossed, but her arms weren't, because she was writing in her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _and thinking about Miley, and it was fucking scary, it seemed, scary to be Lilly and scary to be Miley and scary to simply just _be_.

One could never know what might hit them, one could never know what would happen if they left their house that morning, or what would happen if they _didn't_. One wouldn't know if they'd die or live or maybe lose a leg – one couldn't know if they should put all their trust on those above, but Lilly felt the need to do so, because if she didn't have them, who else did she have?

Miley had disappeared on her, it seemed.

Miley had gotten it and it didn't look too bad.

Miley looked peaceful.

And Lilly… she didn't know what to do or what to feel.

She kept thinking about everything. This past week she had gone through an ordeal of feelings, and she didn't know what to do with herself to keep her occupied from it. It was Friday when they crashed Casper and a week had passed, and now it was Sunday again, and she had experienced more feelings than she'd think of in a lifetime.

There had been hurt and worry and scared. She'd felt sad and relieved and moved. And forgotten. She'd thought she might never heal, might never be Lilly again. She'd thought she would lose the person she loved the most; fear, she'd feared it, she'd definitely felt fear. She hadn't known what to think; her emotions had been messed up all over the place, and she had hated Miley and loved Miley, missed Miley and hadn't gone to see Miley; she'd been crossed, and she hadn't known what to do.

And now she was watching so-called Miley in wonderment. Her was face white and completely in peace as she lay there, slightly on her side, with that… that _thing_ hidden beneath the sheets. It was Miley, Lilly was sure of it, but it didn't look like Miley all the time. She hadn't really been awake since she got it, she had simply slept for days, and Lilly thought that maybe so-called Miley would never be real-called Miley again.

She wondered and felt something ran down her cheek, pen on paper, pen on paper, pen on paper, wondered if they would ever be good again, and how God could really do this to Miley, because Miley was so close to perfect, and every time she lied, she couldn't handle it, and she had to say I'm sorry and make it all go away. Miley didn't deserve this, she had always been a good girl, and she had a perfect career which she'd have to neglect for such awhile now.

The something slid off of her chin and made a spot on her white paper, and Lilly believed that once Miley un-broke, Hannah would be back with full speed and everything would be back to normal. Maybe they could even be Miley and Lilly again, maybe they would talk about what happened and it would all work out, and perhaps Lilly would stop crying so much and _if i never seem to understand, my purpose in this promised land_, maybe she would actually function.

Pen on paper, pen on paper, pen on paper; writingwritingwriting, will Miley ever be good, will she smile for me, will she be whole, will she accept?

Lilly clicked her pen and stared at Miley again, she crossed her arms, too.

--

Somehow she found herself on her knees and with all her fingers crossed. Her head was pecked upwards, hair in a messy bun, and she was _talking_, talking aloud even if no one was there, and she thought that maybe she had gone insane, but at least insane with hope was better than sane with no hope at all.

And she felt a sense of accomplishment, a sense of pride for actually doing something, for hoping and for praying when Miley was gone. She had tears down her cheeks and shivers on her body, but she was smiling because it filled her with something new, something that might help her get through this, get through to Miley, and she was going to turn this on her girlfriend too, because it was an amazing feeling to be listened to with no conditions at all.

She whispered, all her hopes and dreams and wishes for what might come, she whispered, believes and pleas for help, and she lowly finished with "Amen," right before her mother burst through that door with questions in her eyes.

"Lillian," she said, leaned herself against the doorway with as much grace as possible, "Lillian, who are you talking to?"

Lilly sat on her bed, too with as much grace as possible, "No one."

Nodding, "Alright."

Door closing, pen grabbing, looking in her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_, and writingwritingwriting whatever her fingers made her write, whatever he made her write, searching for an answer and for reassurance.

_Cross_

it said. Lilly bit her lip and stared out of the window at the starry night; she was gon_na_.

--

She wasn't too peaceful this Tuesday after school, "This is never going to work."

At least she didn't use 'fucking' as much today.

"Fuck man, this'll never be real."

_Whoops_, spoke too soon.

"This'll never be right. I can't do this. I didn't want this to happen. It's – it's unfair. Fucking unfair."

Lilly nodded slightly. That was all she could do with her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _in her lap and a clicking pen to calm her nerves so she didn't get angry. Her legs were crossed and Miley was staring at hers, which was slightly different and it actually didn't look too bad.

She was angry, but she smiled, "Nothing's fair, but everything happens for a reason."

Not amused, "Don't fucking say stuff like that to me, I don't wanna hear it!" she paused with a guffaw (not really in a good way), "You can easily sit there and pretend everything's good, you're not the fake one, you're not the artificial one. So just… fucking keep quiet."

She reached her hand out, "You seem angry. Wanna click my pen?"

click-click

"I don't wanna click your fucking pen!"

click-click

"Alright, I'll jut click it myself." Lilly replied, because she was scared and she was angry, and when anger occurred, she really needed to click her pen.

_i run up and down  
looking for what i've lost,  
hoping its found  
but sunshine doesn't shine all day,  
nothing seems to go my god damn way_

"Just click your goddamned pen."

She lifted her upper body slightly and glanced forward again to it in the foot of her bed, and Lilly thought it didn't look too bad, but apparently it did because Miley didn't seem too happy, even if she had tons of flowers and chocolate by her side and she didn't have to go to school.

Something was really wrong with her, Lilly decided. It had been so long now. Twelve days. She should accept it, she should live with it, deal with it, act much more mature as the Miley she knew. Miley didn't curse and Miley smiled and Miley dealt with stuff. Miley was never broken, she was whole and she knew how to fix herself and she usually didn't piss Lilly off.

Lilly clicked her pen again; no anger, no yelling.

"When can you start training? I bet you need to work on your upper body strength. Don't the hospital have a place to do that?"

It was a nice suggestion, nice change in subject, nice safe. _Good Lilly, you know exactly how to act un-strange around her_.

Miley's eyes lit fire, "Can I please get over the fact that I no longer have a leg before you order me around?"

click-click

"I – I wasn't ordering you around, it was just a…"

"You were ordering me around, please let me get used to this first, oh _God _Lilly!"

click-click-clickclick

"-a suggestion, it was just a suggestion."

Frowning, "Stop suggesting, then."

clickclick-clickclick

"_God_ Miley!" Lilly mumbled, stood up from her chair with uncrossed arms, but very crossed emotions, "You need to get over yourself so you can get back to normal! You – you need to fix yourself, you need to un-break yourself and be _whole_."

Scary, very much flaming eyes, "Don't talk to me like that. I'm _not_ broken, _I'm not_."

Lilly shook her had and went for the door, clickclickclickclickclickclick_click_.

--

"Well Jeez, you look like hell."

"Thank you Oliver, you're so kind. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."

Smiling, "It's meant it the best way possible, Lil, you've gotta realize that."

"Oh sure, Ollie, I already know that."

He gave her a tight hug and that was exactly what she needed, she had never needed a hug from Triple-O much more than she did right that moment, because she was exhausted, hadn't slept all night (she'd been thinking about Miley), hadn't been able to even it out in school (teachers were all up in her case), and she knew she was black beneath her eyes and that her hair really needed a wash.

But Oliver kissed the top of it no matter what, "Love you, Lils."

She smiled up at him, and hadn't she been so in love with Miley, she was sure she might have fallen for him, "Love you too, Ollie, you've gotta realize that."

Oliver smiled and placed a kind arm around her, and it was scary because it made her feel so much better, and it helped her see that she had rights to do what she was going to do, and that it had been okay to tell Miley off, because she was right, and Miley needed a bold awakening, and she didn't want to just _be_ anymore, she wanted to experience the whole thing, and that had to be with Miley.

"So what is it that we're here for?" Oliver questioned her as he led them through the throng of people currently shopping at the mall, "You sounded so mysterious over the phone, Lil."

She couldn't help but smirk, "Well. I'm looking for something for Miley." She revealed, because it wasn't much of a secret, but Oliver probably wouldn't understand her if she said what exactly she was looking for.

Oliver stopped then and looked around, "Where to go then?"

Lilly knew exactly what to buy, _so if i found the right road to go, or maybe just to take a stroll, i know i will_, "We gotta cross the mall, then cross our hearts and find exactly that." She explained, and if Oliver found it weird, he didn't say so, he just followed her now, and she wasn't so sure this time if it was the right thing to do, the right way to go, but if she just looked around, maybe it would all work out.

Oliver, apparently, wanted to make small talk, "So tell me, Lil, how's everything between you and Miley?"

Lilly glanced at him briefly, "Miley disappeared on me."

Oliver, again, did not show it if he found it weird, "Haven't you talked about your date and your feelings?"

Prompt, "My feelings are crossed."

"Miley?"

"Dunno."

He seemed to think for a second (or maybe two?), "But why don't you talk about it?"

Slightly annoyed, crossed, "Miley's not ready to fix herself. She's broken, gone. She left the building, and she's gotta do something about that before I can talk to her. She has to fix herself."

"She very broken?"

"Very."

"I'm gonna talk to her, then." Oliver said, and he had a twinkle and a bunch of promises in his eyes, "I'm gonna talk to Miley."

Lilly nodded, and they had crossed the mall and now they crossed their hearts, "We're here." Lilly said, and stared in awe at the shop they were about to enter, "You wanna help me choose one?"

"Choose what?"

He looked confused and Lilly adored her Ollie.

"_Cross_."

_i know i will_

--

Ms. Scribo seemed to be one of the few teachers who didn't treat Lilly differently and Lilly loved her for that, because there was nothing more horrible than Mr. Corelli and how he was okay with the fact that Lilly wasn't prepared in any of his subjects.

"Ms. Truscott, can you pay attention, please?"

And Lilly did so, because Ms. Scribo was her favourite teacher, and she couldn't explain why she fell asleep in her favourite subject, but maybe it was because she hadn't slept all night another night, and had simply stared across the room, to her desk, to her pen and paper, and to where that was lying, so she could give it to Miley. _Today_.

"Thank you."

Thank you, _thank you very much_.

Why was she so tired lately? Why couldn't she seem to sleep and just forget for awhile? Why couldn't Miley be better, why couldn't she fix herself and be whole? Why did she have to be so broken, and why did this happen to them? They deserved better, didn't they?

Lilly squeezed her eyes together and stared straight ahead at the blackboard.

if i find the time to answer questions in my mind i know, i know i will, yes, i know i will

Pen on paper, pen on paper, pen on paper, "Lingerer, he says," whisperswhisperswhispers.

"Lillian, could you be quiet, please?"

A nod.

"Thank you."

Thank you, _thank you so ever bloody much. _

Ms. Scribo stared at her in wonderment, "I'll expect serious work from all of you, even if the subject is free." She continued, and Lilly freaked for a second because she hadn't listened, but learned that everything was written on the blackboard (that's the cool thing about those black boards, eh?), "We'll read the poems up in class and the assignment will be graded."

The bell rang and Lilly stuffed her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _along with her pen into her bag, and was ready to get out of there, to go to see Miley, but Ms. Scribo stopped her.

"Ms. Truscott, can I speak with you for a minute please?"

She turned around.

"Thank you."

Thank you, _thank you fucking much. _

Concern written across her pretty face, "What's happening to you, Lillian? Don't disappear on me, please. You have all the possibilities to become something great. You're my most gifted student. Just don't disappear on me, just don't."

And Lilly looked at her, eyes blinking two small tears away as she realized what was happening; she was becoming just like her, forgetting what was important, disappearing on people she shouldn't disappear on, she couldn't be like that, she had to remember, she had to stand strong, because she didn't want to be like that, and if she couldn't, then how would Miley be able to?

"Please, don't disappear on me. I expect great things of you."

Those fucking tears were totally blinked away by now, "I'm sorry," she hoarsely replied, "I won't disappear on you."

Ms. Scribo smiled, "You're meant to touch people with your writing, you can really change something for someone. Your last assignment was… beautiful, and I expect that from you yet again."

Lilly nodded, because she didn't know what to say, but she knew what to think, and she was going to change something for someone; change something horrible to something great for someone who was very dear to her.

"You may leave now."

Lilly turned away to leave.

"Thank you."

Thank you, _thank you, I fucking love you. _

--

She marched right into Miley's room, the cross dangling from her hand and her skateboard in the other. Miley looked scared-crossed-surprised to see her there, and Lilly threw her bag and her skateboard by her chair and continued her march right up to Miley's bed.

She held her hand out and let the cross dangle loose from her hand, right in front of Miley's face.

The other girl was pale and so unpleasant, but Lilly knew what she was doing.

"Here, Miley." She whispered and her voice was small, and this was going to work because it simply had to, "This might give you hope and help you realize."

She let it drop to the bed and turned away from her friend, stared out the window. God was there, and he helped her keep hope, helped her realize. And Miley needed realization, she had to see that she wasn't okay; she had too see that she was broken before she could ever fix herself and be alright.

"You need to see that you're not alright."

_so if i found the right road to go,  
or maybe just to take a stroll,  
i know i will

* * *

Hello everybody. Thank you for sitting through another chapter. I hope it was enjoyable and that I disappointed no one. I want to thank you for the reviews for the last chapter, they mean a lot to me. I hope you're going to leave me your thoughts on this one, too?_

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana and the lyrics are 'Bad Mood' by The Murmurs. _


	5. Chapter Five: Accepted

**Chapter Five**

**Accepted **

_Accepted: adj.: To be commonly approved or recognized; to have regarded something as proper, usual and right._

There was something so beautiful and serene about her. She laid peacefully on her side, shuffled beneath the sheets of the cold room filled with pain and hurt and unsaid emotions. Watching her from the chair, she looked absolutely fine. She seemed to sleep tightly, she had her iPod in her ears and her hair, now washed, laid all around her head like a pretty, brown halo. She was dressed in white and she looked almost like an angel. She hummed like Maria, and it sounded like sweet Hallelujahs to Lilly's ears. She couldn't help but be inspired as she clicked her pen and wrote in her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look. _It was heavenly, just like she looked from the chair.

But Lilly knew, that if the chair was situated in another corner, she'd be able to see her face, see the cringes of pain, and the aches of the hurt she dreamt of in her sleep across her face. She was murmuring in her sleep, groaning, and Lilly tried to ignore it because it hurt her to know how much Miley was hurting. She knew she dealt with all of this on the inside and she had yet to talk to anyone about it, she had yet to say aloud that something was wrong, and that she didn't feel right. Lilly knew that if Miley ever wanted to feel better, she had to realize it, she had to accept it.

There was a loud moan coming from the bed and Lilly looked up from the paper and stared straight ahead to the girl she loved. Miley moved her head from side to side a couple of times and turned over, now facing Lilly. Her sheet moved down slightly, and Lilly felt her eyes bulge out slightly when a piece of her lower right leg was revealed and she could see the shiny metal.

One of the ear buds of Miley's iPod had fallen out and she could hear the lyrics clearly as they streamed through the small device,

_excuse me too busy, you're writing your tragedy  
these mishaps  
you bubble-wrap  
when you've no idea what you're like_

and she wondered why this happened to them, and what it felt like. She took in a deep breath and bit her lip in thought. She didn't want to make Miley angry, but she felt so drawn to the shiny surface, she felt the need to touch it, to brush her fingers across it, and to know what it felt like. She wanted to be a part of this, to help Miley through this, but Miley wasn't letting her; she was shutting her out, she was disappearing on her. But she felt the need to somehow know what it was like to be Miley, she needed to get inside her head and read her thoughts and what went on in there, too see what her demons were.

She swallowed loudly and stuffed her pen and her Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look into her book bag without looking there; she just focused straight ahead on Miley and that shiny thing on her leg. Licking her lips, she stood up and crossed the room, enchanted by the stirring silence in the room if not for the faint sound coming from Miley's iPod. She glanced briefly at Miley and saw her eyelids flutter, before she reached a shaky finger out and let it brush against the cool surface. She quickly withdrew her hand.

It felt weird against her fingertip.

She felt a shutter run across her body and Goosebumps rose across her arms. She shrugged and uncurled all her fingers to let them stroke the metal again. She was nervous and her heart beat when the palm of her hand ran upwards to her knee and then down again. Lilly didn't know whether she should laugh or cry. It was such a weird tingle she got in her body, but she found it beautiful. She didn't know why Miley thought the thing was so horrible, Lilly found it… incredible. Special.

"What are you doing?"

Lilly turned her head to the side and quickly let her hand fall to the mattress when her eyes locked with Miley's. She couldn't read the brunette's eyes, she couldn't see her soul, but she knew that she was angry. Lilly felt herself shiver again and took a step back. Stuttering, "I – I… I was ju-just…"

Miley sat up and pulled the other ear bud out of her ear, "Don't ever do that again!" she hissed through her teeth, eyebrows arched together, "I'm telling you Lilly, don't touch it."

"I … I was just… wondering." Lilly got out, as she stared at her best friend, so confused, with no idea what would happen.

Miley breathed out slowly, "Wondering!? Wondering about what?" she questioned and quickly glanced down at her leg, "There's nothing there, Lilly. It's icky, it's… It's fake, it's not cool. Just… don't touch the leg, alright? Don't ever touch the leg!"

Her voice went from shaky to harsh within a second and Lilly took another step back, fighting the tears that quickly pressed behind her eyelids because the moment was beautiful, yet scary, and she felt hurt and frightened all at the same time. "I…" she swallowed and fought another demon, told him to stay where he was, "I'm sorry, Miley, I was just…"

"Promise _me_ you won't touch it again!" Miley hissed, "I can't stand to think about it, and I can't stand it if you touch it!"

She was so angry and Lilly just stared at her. She didn't know what to reply. She couldn't follow her train of thought, she couldn't see why Miley was so confused and ashamed of it; she knew it was different, that it would be hard to get used to it, but she already felt comfortable with it, Miley just needed to realize that it was okay, too. She just needed to accept it, but she was so angry all the time. She was so hurt, and Lilly understood that, but this wasn't alright, this was not okay. She shouldn't lash out after all the people that only wanted her good, she shouldn't tell them off and snap at them, she should accept another fact, the fact that they were there for her whenever she needed them, that they were there for her to talk to.

Lilly clenched her jaw and quickly turned around to grab her bag. She swung back around and felt her blonde hair hit her back in soft cascades, "Don't talk to me like that, Miley!" she hissed too, clutched her bag to her chest, "I'm here for you, I only want good things for you! I love you, Miley. You need to realize that I'll be here through everything, through the training and through the pain. I'm here for you to talk to, I'll always be here. You're… you're my best friend Miley, I – I love you…" she felt tears roll down her cheeks but she didn't bother to wipe them off, she just stared at Miley in despair.

Miley stared back at her with an empty look in her eyes. She looked so broken right there, and Lilly wanted to wrap her arms around her and hug her back to whole, but she couldn't do that, not right now, because she couldn't handle Miley, not like this. She looked broken, but it was beautiful. Lilly had never seen her this way before, and there was just something amazingly wonderful in the way she cracked and shattered into pieces right before her eyes.

Lilly shuttered, "You need to let us in Miley, you need to see what you're doing, you need to… you need to know that we're all here for you, that we – that we wanna help you unbreak, help you be fixed, because we… we all love you. You need to realize that, Miley, just… realize that."

Miley's hand reached for her neck as Lilly closed her eyes tightly and crossed the room. She was in a hurry to get out of there, she simply couldn't handle this, not right now, _so, let go, l-let go, just get in, oh, it's so amazing here, it's all right, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

--

In class, she was staring off into space.

"Ms. Truscott, what's the capital of Hungary?"

Pop-quiz? _No thank you, I'm good._

"Negative eight."

"Ms. Truscott, that would be the answer to question number eight."

"That's what I said, negative eight."

"Anyone, what's the capital of Hungary?"

Paper ball in the back of head? _No thank you, I'm good._

"Lilly, what's wrong with you today?"

That was Oliver. He was wondering what was wrong with Lilly today. Well, Lilly would tell him. Bend down, reach for paper ball, fold paper open, grab pen and write message.

_Nothing is wrong with me today. Something is wrong with Miley today._

Curl paper into ball, make sure teacher doesn't look, turn around and throw at forehead.

During first break, she ran into Jackson, who had been lingering around so he wouldn't have to go to school himself.

"Lilly, Dad just sent me to see you, he said that Miley has completely shut him off now, that she says she needs to speak with you and only you. Dad is really concerned, are you going there right after school?"

Really want to see Miley? _No thank you, I'm good._

"Sure, I'm going there right after school."

A smile, "Good, because Dad thinks that this might be a good day, that she might just do a break-through."

"But what if it's nothing?"

"It's something. It's always something."

"But what if it isn't?"

Stern, leaving, "It is."

To herself, "It's not?"

Really want to see Miley if it's not? _No thank you I'm good._

Look up, everyone's staring (misfit, misfit, misfit, _weirdo_), order legs to move, smiling as a fake, thinking.

_Nothing is wrong with me today. Something is wrong with Miley today._

During next class, she was writing in her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look._

"Ms. Truscott, I sincerely hope that those things you are writing are notes to my class?"

Want to reply, maybe? _No thank you, I'm good._

"Ms. Truscott? Do you think you could answer me?"

"Yes."

"Is that notes to my class?"

"No."

Bothered, very much bothered, "Can I see them then?"

"I'd rather have you not."

"Do you want me to read them aloud in class?"

Poem about thoughts read aloud in class? _No thank you, I'm good._

"I'd rather have you not."

Hands in both sides, stern look beneath glasses, very much bothered, and very much more angry, "And I'd rather have you see the door."

Grabbing books, grabbing bag and grabbing pen. Pushing chair back and going for the door. Stopping then, someone's talking.

"What's wrong with you today, Ms. Truscott?"

Turning around, knowing not to speak, doing it anyway, speaking, "Nothing is wrong with me today. Something is wrong with Miley today." Finishing, giving people strange looks and going outside, seeing the door. Passing by classrooms, finding bench, sitting down, books, bag, pen right there, finally crying.

People see you cry? _Fuck yes, right now I don't even care._

--

Lilly stopped in front of the hospital. She had her bag on her shoulder and her skateboard beneath one arm. Oliver came right behind her, with his tongue out of his mouth like a lost, little puppet.

He breathed out and Lilly dreaded what she was going to see for Miley had asked for her, and if she was going to yell, then she really didn't want to see her. But she was going to see Miley right now.

Oliver, breathing like a fucking marathon opponent, "Are you going to see Miley right now?"

Nodding, "I'm going to see Miley right now."

Oliver, breathing much more like a teenage boy so-very-out-of-shape, "I can't join you."

She turned to look at him, "And why's that?" she wanted to know, because she was sure that it wasn't nearly as important as seeing Miley with her; especially not when Miley was probably going to yell and hit and tell her to go take a hike. "Is it important?"

Oliver, now breathing like a normal person, "I'm going for another run with my mother."

"That's important." She quickly said and shook her head at him, "You're so-very-out-of-shape."

Hitting him in the stomach, she went for the huge glass doors, and suddenly, she had a feeling that it was a very good thing that she was going to see Miley,

_alone._

--

Standing outside the familiar hospital room, Lilly could hear the faint sound of sobs and tears and hope being burst. She knew Miley was alone, and she knew that sob, Miley's sob, and she felt really bad about the fact that she hadn't wanted to come, when obviously there was a reason and she had to help the girl whom she loved the most.

She didn't knock once, she pushed the door open and dropped her things to the floor. Miley looked up, eyes so full of tears and pain, her face was cringed together and she looked so hopelessly gone. She swallowed loudly and Lilly crossed the floor, softly sat next to her and put her arms around the fragile girl.

Lilly hadn't realized this before, but maybe that was because she hadn't really looked at her, but Miley was thinner, thinner than she used to be, and she was weak, and Lilly could feel practically every bone in her body, and then it struck her that maybe Miley hadn't been eating all that she should.

Lilly buried her head into the back of Miley's neck, as the other girl cried into her chest. Her body was wrecked with sobs, and Lilly tried to find her usual smell, as she stroked her back and her arms and the front of her neck. She let her fingers linger by the cross she had given Miley and smiled to herself when she realized that Miley might be realizing, that she might be getting there.

The brunette pulled her head back up and locked eyes with Lilly, locked their blue eyes together, in blue met blue met blue met blue, and gently place a hand on the side of Lilly's chin, "Lilly…" she hoarsely whispered, tears spilling out, adding to the thousandth already gone, "Lilly, I think something is wrong with me… I think… I think I might be broken."

_acceptance_.

accept- _ed?_

A shiver went through her fragile body, "I'm not … me. I'm, I'm gone, I'm… almost not here, I think – I think I might need help to unbreak. Can you – can you fix me, Lilly? Can you?"

_it gains the more it gives  
and then it rises with the fall  
so hand me that remote  
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?  
such boundless pleasure  
we've no time for later  
now you can't await  
your own arrival  
you've twenty seconds to comply_

Lilly held back her own tears and placed a shaking hand on the side of Miley's chin, just like she had done. And she was beautiful, beautiful in the midst of her breakdown, "Shh, Miles…" she whispered, stroking heat and promises into her skin, into her inner self, "We'll fix you, I promise, it'll all be alright… We'll figure out how, it's gonna be okay, you just – just have to linger for a while…"

A soft nod. "Linger…"

"Just stay with me okay, don't leave completely. We'll get through this." Lilly promised, and she heard herself promise, for she knew that they could, they were Miley and Lilly and they had love, and they were going to be okay, "I promise, just don't leave, just.. just keep on lingering, and you'll be okay. I'll fix you, I promise."

Miley buried her head in Lilly's chest again, still shi-shi-shivering and Lilly's shaky hand tried to soothe her, to calm her, and she bent her head and placed a deep kiss on the top of Miley's hair.

Situation?

_Accepted._

--

The next day and this was Lilly:

Bouncy._ check_.

Happy. _check_.

Sad. _no?_

Worried. _nah._

Smiling. Grinning. Chuckling. Enjoying. _check. check, check, check._

Lilly was very much all of the checked-above. She couldn't seem to be the Lilly everyone else had gotten so used to. She figured that they might as well just accept that, because Miley had, and Miley would be okay now, they were going to unbreak her.

She had accepted it. Accepted that she no longer had her own leg. Accepted that they were all there for her. Accepted that Lilly would do anything to fix her and make her happy.

_Ac-cep-ted._

Skipping through her calendar during free period, Lilly thought that maybe Oliver wasn't so-very-out-of-shape anyway, "Hey, how long do you think it'll take before Miley can get out of the hospital then?"

"She only accepted it yesterday?" Oliver questioned, curious eyes on the calendar in front of him.

Nodding, "Yeah, but it'll all work out…" she skipped another page and felt her eyes land on HM concert, meet Miley at four thirty, her place and couldn't contain her smile. Placing a finger there, she said, "Do you think she'll be ready for that?"

Oliver's eyes became first small, but then he looked up at her, and Lilly could see his worry. She just didn't understand it, there was more than a month until, surely Miley would be somewhat and about by then.

Asking, "What?"

Oliver, swallowing, nervous, "Lilly…" his voice was not Oliver, it was very un-Oliver, "She won't be able to do that. She… she can't dance now."

And Lilly then felt herself stare at him, as her eyes went wide, and she hadn't realized. Why hadn't she realized what all this meant, how come she hadn't been able to see that, stupid. She just stared at him, and things fell into place in her head, because maybe Miley hadn't been the problem, maybe she had accepted just fine that she only had one leg and that they were all there for her and that Lilly would fix her. Maybe Hannah had been the problem, maybe she hadn't been able to accept that she would no longer dance and no longer be, and Lilly had – _stupid!_ – completely missed that, hadn't even thought of the consequences for one second. Miley wasn't the only one who was broken.

Stuttering, not knowing what to say, "I – I…"

"Lilly, you… you didn't know?"

Tears pressing behind eyelids, standing up, throwing calendar and stuff into backpack. Glancing quickly at Oliver, and then – _out of there._

Skateboarding to the hospital, a gazillion of thoughts and feelings crossed inside, rushing through lobby to room, smacking door open, tears fallingfallingfalling.

Miley stared at her in completely shock, but with those devastated emotions inside her eyes. Lilly dropped everything she had, even her dignity, and stepped forward, brushed the white sheet back and stared at the leg. She looked up at Miley again, and felt her lower lip quiver, "No… no more…" she couldn't choke another word out.

Miley's one eyebrow squirmed and when she stared at Lilly and stared at her leg, she suddenly stared the truth and realization right in the eye. Her newfound happiness dropped slightly, as her barrier broke once more, "You just realized it, didn't you?" she whispered with a quiver.

And Lilly felt herself fall into the arms of her loved one, and she shook in the need of comfort and care and because she just realized it, even if she should have a long time ago. She could feel awkward hands on her back and her hair and she knew that even if this was Miley, Hannah was gone, but Miley was broken, and Lillian, she was just accepting it with cries in pain and sorrow, and there was something so wonderful about that moment, because they were both breaking down, and it was very much beautiful.

_so, let go, so let go  
jump in  
oh well, what you waiting for?  
it's alright  
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

beautiful.

* * *

_Thank you so much for the reviews for last chapter, I really enjoyed reading them. This chapter was a bit difficult for me, because I've been lacking inspiration, but when it suddenly came, I got this finished, along with another chapter for my HSM fic, so that was great. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please leave your thoughts?_

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Hannah Montana and the song is 'Let Go' by Frou Frou._


	6. Chapter Six: Visited

**Chapter Six **

**Visited**

_Visited: adj. To go or come to, and to go see in order to aid or console; To make itself known to or seize fleetingly_

They visited. They fucking came to the hospital and visited.

Miley.

They visited Miley. The man. The woman. The man and the woman – from the car crash. With the red car that wasn't hurt at all. They fucking went ahead and visited Miley.

Lilly freaked. When she heard that they had been there, she absolutely freaked. What the fuck did they think they were doing? Miley didn't want to see them, and who the fuck did they think they were? They had to leave her alone, damnit. That was just it. Leave Miley alone.

- new rule of Lillian Truscott.

Everyone had to leave Miley alone unless she had told them not to. Jackson didn't. Robbie Ray didn't. Oliver didn't. Lilly didn't. But everyone else had to leave Miley the crap alone.

She was just getting familiar with her notleg, and she had accepted it. Acceptance was important. Im-por-tant. It was. It was very important. To Miley. And to Lilly. It was important to Lilly. And Oliver and Jackson and Robbie. _Im_ for Ollie, _por_ for Jackson and _tant_ for the former singer.

important.

And Lilly had almost gotten used to it to. To the notHannahanylonger-part, to the notleg thing, to how much it hurt to see Miley hurt. And to how she was hurt herself. Her demon had almost accepted it too, but even if it had, it still spun around in her head and it made her crazy and mad and she just wanted to let it slide, but it talktalktalked-

_demon demon demon demon demon demon_

She was confused. If Miley wasn't Hannah. She wasn't Lola. Oliver wasn't Mike. Robbie Ray wasn't… manager. No Hannah, no Lola, no Mike, no manager, and no popstar life. Where had all the good times gone, had they just disappeared and left her alone and would never come back? Would she remember? Would she not? Would she be able to reminisce? Would she think back once thirty? And remember the good times they shared? Forget the bad ones. Even if it had to end like this. Please do forget the bad ones.

She stared straight ahead at the door and the man and the woman had visited (fucking). The door was pretty much white. Like everything else. Maybe her demon was white. Or black. Or maybe it was red as the car. Of the man and the woman who fucking visited. Why had they visited, again? Why?

Miley was doing well before. Now? Mhm, not so much. It was upsetting. They were upsetting (the man and the woman). She was upset. They should have left her alone. She would have been better. Much. And now she wasn't. She was simply back to basis. The look in her eyes was empty, she was pale. She was gone, Robbie Ray said. Lilly hadn't talked to her. Not yet. But she trusted Robbie Ray. She always had. Because, well… because he was Robbie Ray.

So she should probably go inside, right? She should probably push that handle. She should go inside. See Miley. Talk to her. Robbie said it was bad on the phone. She should see for herself. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad because she was Lilly. Lilly always brought the best out in Miley, Miley had said that. Or she used to. Lilly liked the idea of that. It was nice, somehow.

Should she go push go?

_demon demon demon_

She pushed and then went.

Miley heard the door go. She lifted her head. Her eyes were black. Lilly felt really sad. She crossed the floor, kissed Miley's cheek, lips lingering for a while. She pulled back and Miley had her hand on her cheek.

"How's life?"

She tried to grin sheepishly, but it probably looked a lot more like stiff.

Miley let her hand fall, "They were here."

The man and the woman. They were fucking there, "They were here." Lilly mumbled and nodded. She took a seat in the chair in the corner, "They visited, fucking."

"Fuck them and it."

Her eyes were black, not-so-full-of-emotion, "Fuck that."

She said that, and she was visited by her demon, _demon demon demon_

Miley reached over and grabbed a golden card, "They brought this for me. Apparently chocolate, flowers and golden cards can make up for everything. Even notlegs."

Lilly looked over at the card and grabbed her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _from her bag. "Apparently so."

Reading, "_With wishes for your well. Love-_" pause, "The man and the woman wrote love."

"Love isn't right. That's only for lovers and family." Lilly concluded, licked her lips, "I like chocolate."

"Only for family, and… lovers."

"I like chocolate."

"Lovers."

Lilly stared at her. Wondered. Why did the man and the woman bring chocolate, flowers and golden card? Why was Miley the one who had to be broken? Why was it them? And where was Oliver and Jackson and Robbie? What did it really mean when Miley said lovers? And what were her and Miley? Were they… lovers?

Questioning, "Lovers?"

Miley's head pecked up, "They left their number if I wanted to talk to them later when I felt better. They said."

Wondering, "Miley, can I ask you a question?"

Miley blinked, "About lovers?"

Agreeing, "Yeah. Are we – are we lovers? Can I ask a question about that?"

Miley paused, "Not now, not now Lilly."

Objecting, "Are you my lover, Miley?"

Miley had a tear in her eye, whispered, "Don't ask me that." with a shake of her head, and her big blue eyes.

Lilly's breath hitched in her throat.

_Demon demon demon demon demondemon demon demon demon demondemon_

Lilly stuffed her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _into her bag again and stood up from her chair. She took a step towards the bed. "I'ma take this." She said, snatching the golden card. "I'ma go."

Miley stared at her with an open mouth, "What are ya gonna do, Lilly?"

Lilly stared back down at Miley. She didn't know what to feel. Miley didn't want to talk about it. Miley was gone (again). She had to do something. She had to figure this out. She pushed a hair back, praying for change after this, begging for her demons to leave and for Miley to be fine, "I'ma go." She whispered, and turned for the door.

--

She was wondering if this was a good idea.

"Do you think this is a good idea, Lil?"

She looked at her best buddy and blinked a few times, "I'm wondering if this is a good idea, Ollie."

Oliver reached a hand out and placed it on top of her hand on the mouse on the table on the floor on this earth, "Then don't do it. Don't… press those letters."

"I'm gonna press those letters."

He removed his hand from the… _that_, and leaned back in the chair, "Fine, and it's okay. Who says that just because you press those letters means you have to walk there."

She gave him a soft look, determined, "I'm gonna walk there."

He was silent and she typed the keys. The golden card was next to her. On the table. Her school books were scattered on the floor for she never did her homework anymore. (Except Creative Writing, but that was because of… well because of Creative Writing). Her mother was downstairs. Oliver was next to her. And she wrote the phone number.

A couple of addresses showed up. They leaned forward. Pressed their noses into the screen. Why was there not an address with a the man. Or an address with a the woman next to? It was a very legitimate question.

_demondemon demon_

Oliver bit his lip, "What are you gonna choose?"

"I'm gonna walk. Between all of them houses."

Lilly was determined. She was going to walk, because when she stared at those numbers. She felt angry. She was angry with them. Her demon was banging inside her head. She knew she would feel better. She knew.

"Why don't you just take… _oh_."

Frowning, "I can't take Casper."

"I know."

"Because the red car wasn't hurt at all. Casper is gone."

"And Miley is broken."

"She's very broken."

She turned her head to him. He was a good friend, she decided. He was there for her. And for Miley. He supported her. And Miley. He loved her. And Miley… Maybe Miley a little more, actually. But that was only because she needed it.

"Mr. Stewart said she was doing better. But now she's bad again." he paused, "Are you gonna make it go away like you did the last time?"

They both leaned back and breathed properly, "I'm gonna walk and get my own demons cleared out." Pause, too, "And then I'm gonna make it go away like I did the last time."

There was a knock on the door.

"You may now enter."

Heather Truscott with a slight headpoke, "I am brining you cookies and milk, your highness."

"Leave it on the table, please."

Done that, headpoke, leave.

Oliver turned to look at her. Questions were in his eyes.

She grinned, "Don't ask."

--

The man opened the door. "Can I help you?"

Lilly had her hands on her hips and she stared at him in despair, "Can I see the woman too?"

The man looked confused. But he brought the woman. They were both in the door, and Lilly still had her hands on her hips. She had to tell them what they had ruined. She had to let them know how much they had destroyed. What they had broken. Because it was wrong that they were so fine, when Miley was so not. And it was wrong that they brought chocolate and flowers and gold card, because it couldn't fix the notleg. Almost nothing could. And Lilly was angry. And she was going to snap at them and yell at them and maybe even cry in anger.

"What can we help you with, dear?"

The man.

"You look familiar, have I seen you before?"

The woman.

"Oh dear, she's the girl from the accident."

The man – again.

"Come inside sweetie."

Again, the woman.

Objecting, "No thank you, I'd rather just talk right here."

They looked puzzled.

Lilly therefore elaborated, "I just want to say that I think it's very unfair that Casper is gone when the red car is here. I want to add that I think it was very stupid of you to visit Miley at the hospital when she still hasn't gotten used to her _notl_- to her artificial leg."

_demon _

The man had an understanding look on his face, and Lilly hated him for that. The woman opened her mouth to tell her otherwise, and she hated that too.

"Don't say anything." pause, reaching a hand out to stop them, "Do you have any idea of what you've done? What you broke?"

The man, "It was an accident, it's not our fault.

The woman, "We're very sorry, It's not like we could control it. We didn't do it on purpose. It could happen to anyone."

_demon demon _

Lilly nodded, but flashes of Miley and Hannah & Lola came before her eyes and she felt the tears press behind her eyelids like crazy. There was no Hannah, no Lola, no Mike, no manager. _No more_. Shaky, "Do you have any idea of what you've destroyed?"

_demon demon demon _

The man's face fell, the woman shrugged, "We know it's gonna be hard for her without a leg, but she'll get used to it after a while, and then maybe it won't be so bad."

"She was perfect." Lilly said, "She had her entire life planned out for her. She was gonna go _all the way_. And you destroyed that. There's no more Smiley Miley. She's… she's not herself anymore. She-" pause, breathe, continue, "She's broken, she- she can't _dance_."

The man's hand tugged the woman's, "She was a dancer?"

The woman squeezed, "We're sorry to hear that."

Lilly spat, "Well, you should be!"

And then Lilly left.

--

That was enough.

She had her demons. She dealt with them. She had problems. She worked them out. She needed release. She talked to the man and the woman. She needed Miley. She was going to fix her.

Miley had fears. She could face them. Miley couldn't dance. She could sing. Miley was broken. She could unbreak. Miley was sad. She could be happy. Miley needed a wakeup call. Lilly would call her.

"That is enough!"

She slammed the door as loudly as possible. Miley stared at her. Her eyes were black and empty. She was still broken. Lilly threw her bag in the chair. She marched. Up to Miley's side. Stared right back at her.

"This is enough, Miley." She was determined, "We're gonna work this out. _Now_."

Miley swallowed, "Work what out?"

Lilly's jaw tightened, "You, we're gonna work you out. Now."

"Me?"

"I had demons, Miley. I dealt with my demons."

"De-demons?"

"Yes, demons."

"Were they bad?"

"They were demons."

Miley nodded, "But what does that have to do with me?"

Lilly elaborated, "You're dealing with demons yourself." Swallow, move on move on move on, "You were doing better, now you're not. You don't wanna talk to me about lovers." Pause, alright, go on, "We need to talk about lovers."

Miley squeezed her eyes and rested her head, "I can't talk about lovers now, Lilly." She sighed, "I can't deal with this right now. I've got all these other things I need to deal with."

Lilly crossed her arms, "I can't except that, Miley. I need you back. _You_. Not this sorry excuse for a friend. I know you can't dance, I know it, but you still have your voice and all your fingers to play. You can't be Hannah, but you can be Miley. And I need her. _Not _Hannah. Miley's the one I need." She breathed out, shakyshakyshaky, "She's the one I love…"

"I can't. Not right now, Lilly. I can't go on without Hannah. She's… she's pretty much all I've got secure to hold on to."

She didn't comment on the 'love'. She said she had nothing else secure. What was Lilly? A midget? "What am I? A midget?"

Her mouth fell open.

"I can't believe you're being like this. We're all here for you. We all love you, Miley. You need to get back on your feet and get your life back."

Miley shook her head, "I can't do that…" she whispered, shakyshakyshakier. Teary Miley Blue Eyes. Sad, very much indeed. "I can't… I can go on without Hannah."

Lilly's breath hitched, in her throat, "You've gotta Miley." Lip quivering, fingers twitching, Goosebumps, "You've gotta let us in. We love you. Love has – love has gotta be enough, Miley, it has gotta be. Do it for me…" begging, oh crap and shit and fuck and damn, "I love you…"

Miley blinked, "I don't think I can do that."

Lilly squeezed her eyes tight. Tears fell out anyway. Warm, slick tears down her cheeks. "Please, though." She begged, open eyes now, "Can you try?"

Miley was biting her lip, "Don't ask me that."

Repeating, "Can you try?"

* * *

_Thank you so much for all the kind reviews, I am glad that you seem to enjoy this story. I hope this chapter was worth the way, it took me time to get out because I am swamped with homework and assignments, and it had a tough time starting it. I hope you liked it though, and please do leave me your thoughts. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana – and no lyrics this time! :D_


	7. Chapter Seven: Tried

**Chapter Seven**

**Tried**

_T__ried: adj. To be thoroughly tested and proved to be good or trustworthy; Made to undergo trials or distress._

(Ms. Scribo: Today we're doing the best friend exercise. Gather around in a circle and we'll take turns, telling each other in only _one word_ what our best friend is like.

Oliver: What good will this do?

Ms. Scribo: It's for your creativity. You might be struggling with this Mr. Oken. It's hard to describe a person in one word. There's so many things, right?

Oliver: Oh.

Ms. Scribo: You can go first then, Mr. Oken.

Oliver: Lilly – worried.

Ms. Scribo: Very good Oliver. Peter?

Peter: Becky – beautiful.

Ms. Scribo: Symone?

Symone: Katherine – smart.

Ms. Scribo: And Lillian?

Lilly: What?

Oliver: Describe Miley in one word.

Lilly: …_broken_.)

--

It didn't seem like it.

It did not seem like Miley could really try.

Or maybe she was trying and just couldn't.

Maybe she couldn't go on without Hannah. Or without a leg.

Maybe she just _couldn't_.

Lilly stared straight ahead and drummed her pen into the front cover of her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_. Oliver was eating something gross. People were wildly talking. Lilly was worried. They were in the cafeteria. It was lunch.

How could Miley really function properly, ever? Lilly had been contemplating that question. Lately. A lot. A lot of Miley's existence had been based around Hannah Montana. It had been so important. Lilly could understand why that would upset her. But she couldn't understand how Miley could not try harder. They had known each other for many years now. They had been on a date.

She was _supposed_ to care.

She snapped out of her thoughts when Oliver spoke.

"What are you thinking about?"

She turned her head to him. He had something gross around his mouth. She decided not to comment on it. "I'm not thinking about anything."

He licked his lip, "You are."

"Am not."

"Are."

"Not."

"You're thinking about Miley and Hannah and why she's not really trying."

Lilly frowned, "Am not."

"Alright." Oliver stared her in the eyes, "You're not thinking about Miley and Hannah and why she's not really trying. You're not wondering about it. Contemplating it."

She shook her head, "True."

Oliver sighed dramatically, "But just in case…" he wriggled his eyebrows, and Lilly really needed the humour in her life, "Just in case you decide to think about it in the future, I have an idea… You should talk to Ms. Scribo about it. Sarah has her in Psychology. She's a Psychology teacher. She's good."

Interested, "Sarah has her in Psychology?"

"Yup."

Thinking, "She's a Psychology teacher?"

"Aha."

Smiling, "She good?"

"Incredible."

Pause.

"…that's what Sarah says… anyway."

Lilly placed her hand beneath her chin and thought for a second before she said, "Hmm, maybe I should talk to Ms. Scribo. She's my favourite teacher. I'm her favourite student. Creative Writing is my favourite subject. I'm rather fond of Psychology."

Oliver nodded, something gross still on his face, "Funny how that works out."

Lilly grabbed her pen and her book; she stood up. "I'm going to go find her."

Oliver nodded and looked up as her, as she swung her leg across the bench she had been sitting on. "Have fun, Lilster."

She looked down at him and said (all because of the fun she needed in her life), "Thank you Oliver, you've got something on your face, though."

Oliver reached his pinkie up and only wiped the crook of his lips, "Is that good?"

Lilly motioned at her face again, "Yeah, you've still got something gross on your face."

Oliver used his pinkie again and proceeded to clean the other crook of his lips, "That better?" he questioned.

Lilly took a look at his lips. He still had unbelievably much something gross on his face. He ate like a child. "Yeah." She said, before she turned to leave, "Much better."

--

Lilly took in a deep breath. She was nervous. For some reason. It would be awkward to talk to Ms. Scribo about Miley. Ms. Scribo was only her teacher. There was just certain things you didn't talk to teachers about. But then again, Ms. Scribo was different. Lilly felt like she could talk to her. She felt like it would be okay. She would just have to try. Maybe Ms. Scribo would understand.

Lilly raised her hand. She knocked. There was a faint 'come in' through the door. She slowly pushed the handle down and stepped inside. Ms. Scribo's eyes were on her immediately, and Lilly felt flustered within a second. The teacher looked very surprised to find her there, but ten seconds later a smile erupted on her face.

"Lillian?"

Lilly swallowed loudly and stepped in further. Deep breaths, calm-calm-calming down, "Hi."

Ms. Scribo motioned for the chair on the other side of her desk. "What can I help you with, Lillian?" she wanted to know.

Lilly took a seat with her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_ tugged firmly beneath her armpit. She awkwardly got it out though, and placed it gently on the table. "Do you have time to – to talk?" Lilly questioned. It was so weird. She wasn't her usual Lilly self. But again –she had not been her usual Lilly self for a very long time now.

Ms. Scribo nodded, her long, curly dark-brown-almost-black hair falling down her shoulder. She placed her elbows on the table. Placed her chin in her hands. Stared warmly at Lilly with those black eyes, "I do," she softly said, kindly, "I always have time to talk to you Lillian. Is there… something particular on your mind?"

Lilly shakily breathed out again. "I've… I've been thinking."

Nodding, "I've noticed. You've changed too."

"I'm not my usual Lilly self."

"No, you're not your usual Lilly self. You haven't been for a very long time now."

Scared, "Not for a very long time."

"Not since Miley got hurt."

Lilly felt her blue eyes go big. She looked up at one of the grown-ups she trusted the most in the world. She was so kind, so amazing. And Lilly trusted her. She _needed_ that. "I know." she whispered.

Ms. Scribo nodded. She readjusted herself in her chair. Said, "How's Miley doing?"

Lilly stared at the table for a second. So many thoughts inside her head. About Miley. About Lilly. About Ms. Scribo. About life. Love. About notlegs and about hospitals. About her writing. She then looked up at Ms. Scribo again. "She's not really trying."

"To get better?"

Ms. Scribo seemed very understanding.

Lilly sighed, "Yes. She's not. And I know it's hard for her, because…" she was about to start blabbing about Hannah Montana, but that probably wasn't the brightest idea, since _that _was secret, "because of so many things. She's not herself. She's having an… identity crises. I think."

Lilly didn't know if she was making sense. Or not. But these were some of the thoughts she had been contemplating so much. She needed either reassurance or confirmation. She thought that maybe Ms. Scribo could help her with that.

Ms. Scribo motioned for her to continue. Silent.

"I'm just scared," Lilly whispered, not daring to look her teacher in the eyes right that moment, "that…maybe she's changed. Because- because if she has changed… will she… will she be the same person?"

Ms. Scribo moved slightly and Lilly wiped a lonely tear away before she looked up – finally locking eyes with her, "Maybe. Maybe not."

Lilly swallowed, "Do you think – do you think that if she has changed, that her feelings have changed too? That she's not my Miley anymore?"

Ms. Scribo sighed heavily and opened her mouth to speak, "I think that maybe you're too worried, Lillian. I can see why you are. But maybe Miley needs more time to get better. She probably _is_ having an identity crises. Losing a leg is a big deal. I can see how it would affect a young woman so much. It'll change a lot for her. There's so many things. But I do think that you're worrying too much if you think that she will be another person."

Lilly looked up at her. She only knew half the story. And if she thought that maybe Miley was having a crisis – what wasn't happening in the real world? Miley was changing, Lilly was sure of it. Ms. Scribo didn't know about Hannah Montana, she only knew Miley.

"But what was this about feelings?"

Lilly's left eye was squeezed tight together, and she bend her head slightly, while looking up at her teacher from beneath. "I… She was my Miley."

Ms. Scribo seemed to get the hint. She had to have a moment to let it sink in, before she nodded softly. "I see…"

"You're not freaked out by it?" Lilly wished to know. It was always something that worried her. Sure, they hadn't been public about their feelings and they had only had one date. But from day one she had been worrying about all this.

She was happy when Ms. Scribo shook her head, "No, I'm not. My sister is gay, and it's not like it's sodomy or anything."

Lilly lifted her head a bit more, made an 'ew'-face. "Definitely not sodomy. It's just love."

Ms. Scribo laughed, "That's for sure."

There was a comfortable silence, and Lilly felt that the whole talk about identity was over, even if she hadn't properly gotten an answer. It was nice talking to Ms. Scribo. Lilly felt like someone really understood her and didn't judge her. It felt good. She unconsciously let her left hand wander to rest upon her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_.

Ms. Scribo broke the silence with a look at it, "Do you get some writing done?"

Lilly looked up and brushed the cover with a smile on her face, "Yeah, a bit. I've many things going on these days."

"I know, you're not your usual Lilly self. I can see it in class and in the homework you hand in."

Lilly nodded.

"Your themes have changed dramatically the past two months." She paused, but Lilly did not reply, "I've been worried. You've written mostly about death and God and demons. But I see now, that it's only because of Miley."

Lilly looked up, struck, "I've almost always only written because of Miley."

Ms. Scribo nodded.

Swallowing, "Do you have any idea of what I can do?"

"About Miley?"

"About Miley."

Pausing, thinking, saying, "If you've tried talking to her and that doesn't work, you should try telling her in something you're good at. You should use your words. You're so good with them. And I'm sure you'll be handing something about her in during our big assignment. She'll appreciate that, and understand that. And she'll be back then, hopefully."

Lilly opened her mouth to speak, but-

"If it was Hannah Montana she would surely have written her best friend a song and sung it for her."

-so Lilly closed her mouth again and smiled. "I understand that."

The first bell rang.

"You better get to class."

Lilly stood up, "Yeah, I do better get to class. I have Mr. Corelli this period."

Ms. Scribo made a face as she stood up, "I have a free period now." she paused as Lilly's hand touched the door handle, "Hey Lillian, if you ever need to talk, you know I'm always here, ready to listen to you."

Lilly couldn't help feeling better, even if, "Won't people find it odd that I talk to you? They're gonna assume all sort of things."

Ms. Scribo made a thinking-face, "Let's keep it on the DL."

"Maybe you'll just be my sort of Bunburiyst?"

The beautiful teacher smiled, "Truly spoken Ms. Truscott, truly spoken in the words of Oscar Wilde. At least I know you pay attention in my class."

"That's the only class I pay attention in." Lilly finished, before she pressed the handle down and turned to leave, but-

"Lillian?"

Turning slightly, "Yes?"

"We'll be doing the best friend exercise the next time too, so you might want to do something about your answer before then."

-and so then Lilly blinked quickly and fled the room.

--

She ran into Robbie Ray outside Miley's room. He did not look too happy.

"Hi Mr. Stewart." Lilly said. She felt positive that she was going to do some progress with Miley this afternoon. She just had that feeling.

"Hey Lilly."

She frowned, "What's wrong?"

"Miles is not too happy. Somethin' about Mikayla and Hannah on TV – well, mostly about Mikayla, that's why she's so upset."

Lilly fell from her toes to the balls of her heels, "That's why she's upset. I see. I see, can I see her?"

Robbie Ray breathed, "I'm not sure. She's upset."

"I see."

Robbie Ray didn't say more, and therefore Lilly got suspicious. Robbie Ray was a talker. Like his daughter. They were both talkers. And he would say some more, usually.

"She's not only upset about that, is she?"

Robbie breathed more, "I'm not sure. She's upset."

Worried, "About?"

Nothing.

"About?"

"…you."

Surprised, slightly taken aback, doing weird facial expressions in front of Robbie Ray, the former singer-now manager, "Me?"

Robbie breathed even more, "Somethin' about a fight. I dunno, Lilly. But she's upset."

"I see."

"I think it's a bad idea if you go in there."

"Well, I wanna go in there because I have to do something about my answer. So can I?"

"I don't think so…"

Determined, wanting to go in there, to see Miley, no matter what Robbie Ray said, because Miley was her Miley and if she had a problem, she better share it, and, "I'm gonna go in there," motioning for the door, grabbing the handle.

Robbie didn't breath more, "Lilly, I-"

Ignored. Going inside. Goodbye. Goodbye Robbie Ray, the former singer-now manager, goodbye, it was so nice to see you.

_Those souls, they are somewhere  
Between their death and life  
Ingenious, they are pierced  
Between wrong and right_

Door smacking, Miley looking up, very much surprised.

Harshly, "What are you doing here?"

Throwing bag in chair in corner, Lilly turned to stare at the TV on the wall – _Gossip Channel_. "Don't call on anyone. I need to speak with you. _Now_."

Arms crossed, "I won't tolerate the way you spoke to me the last time you were here."

Lilly stared her right in the eye, controlangercontrolanger and actverymuchnice, "You're having an identity crises, Miley. I worked it all out. You're not really the same anymore because you're not Hannah, and Hannah was a part of Miley as much as Miley was a part of Hannah, and that's a problem, especially for Miley. But for Lilly too, because she's pretty worried."

Miley's eyes were focused on the TV screen. Lilly felt irritated and annoyed and she had the need to either kick something really hard or do a kick-flip-gone-wrong on her skateboard so she'd be out of here for a while.

"Hello? Miley? Do you feel like replying, maybe? Perhaps? It would be nice, you see."

Miley swallowed and turned her eyes to meet Lilly's, and a few drops were seen by the crook of her nose, "They're talking about Hannah, you know. About whether or not she'll be back, if she's left for always. And Mikayla – she's been paid triple her usual for covering some of the things Hannah had had to attend. And I'm stuck here, never Hannah again while Mikayla has everything."

There was a pause. Lilly did not know what to say. She kept quiet. She felt bad for Miley. But what does one say?

"And she even came here, Mikayla. To give me chocolate and flowers. I've got enough chocolate and flowers."

Lilly shakily breathed out. She had to do this. _Now_. She would hopefully bring some hope into Miley's mind. Bring some hope back into her own. Hopefully, _hopefully_ she would bring hope. "Miley… I'm gonna ask you something, suggest you something… Please just listen to me, okay?"

Miley's finger turned off the TV.

(Lilly eyed the chocolate and flowers during a momentarily brain lapse – she did like chocolate and flowers.)

"You can fix this." Lilly then tried, hoped that Miley would not shut her off, that she would hear her out, because there was a possibility, "You – you can still learn to have a normal life. You won't be able to dance, but Hannah can throw one last, huge concert. To say goodbye to her fans. And after that… Miley is free to play all the music she wants on her guitar."

Miley swallowed, "That all sounds very nice, Lilly… But – but it seems like such a struggle to get there."

Feeling proud, she was getting there, "It will be, Miley. It will be. But it'll be worth it. You just – you just have to _try_." Pausing briefly, "Can I ask you something? Have you- have you been outside this room since you got here? Have you even tried walking with your notl- with your prosthesis?"

Miley did not reply, she looked into nowhere.

"You've gotta try before you can get there, Miley. And we're all here for you. Can you – can you try now?"

Miley looked up at Lilly again, and the blonde swore she saw a glint in her eye.

--

(Ms. Scribo: So today we're repeating the best friend exercise. You could either pick another of your friends, stick with the same one and the same word, or maybe some of you have had a revelation concerning that friend.

Oliver: Do we gather around in a circle?

Ms. Scribo: That's exactly what we do, Mr. Oken. Everyone, sit down.

Oliver: Can I go first again?

Ms. Scribo: Sure.

Oliver: Lilly again – worried.

Ms. Scribo: Again, and Peter?

Peter: Becky – still beautiful.

Ms. Scribo: Only one word!

Peter: Sbeautiful.

Ms. Scribo: Funny. Who's next? Symone?

Symone: Katherine – smart.

Ms. Scribo: And Lillian? What about you?

Lilly: Me?

Oliver: Yeah, describe Miley in one word.

Ms. Scribo: You've got anything to say to us? Anything at all?

Lilly: Miley - _trying_.)

* * *

_Hi everyone. Thank you so much for all the reviews for the last chapter. I am glad that you enjoyed that. Sorry about the slight delay, but I've been really busy. Luckily I'm on break now, but I have a bunch of assignments to do, hopefully I'll get some writing done, though. I hope you liked this chapter too, I made it slightly longer. Please leave me your thoughts and merry Christmas to you all! ;b_

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana. _


	8. Chapter Eight: Cut

**Chapter Eight**

**Cut**

_Cut; adj.: to have the ends or edges cut: to separate from others; isolate_

The weight pressed against her side was heavy, but Lilly didn't care. It was a good kind of heavy, though, the kind of heavy one can actually enjoy and wish to have, the kind of heavy that felt good because it made her feel like she was actually there, that she was actually an actual breathing person, with feelings and thoughts and blood inside of her body. It made her feel

_alive_

She had felt not. Felt sort of cut. She hadn't exactly been around. Really. She had been more of not… around. Not around because she had been confused. About things. About School. Oliver. And Ms. Scribo. Poetry. And Miley. Always confused about Miley.

It wasn't easy to be confused about any of that. Least of all Miley.

The brown hair tickled her chin, and they stopped for a second so Lilly could get a better grip. Breath tickled her cheek, nails dug into her arm, she was _alive. _

"Thank you for coming today." Miley whispered into her ear, breathing hot and ragged.

Out of breath, not so elegant (more like elephant), "Of course- I – you know I'll … I'll help you- Miles." Breathing, "I'm always… here."

Nearly not so out of breath, much more elegant (and not so elephant), "I know I could have trained more, but I really tried to catch up on all the stuff I missed when I was wallowing in that fungous hospital bed."

_funny – fungous. Haha. _

"Fungous is the plural of fungi, is it not?"

_fungi? Haha haha haha. that one was even better._

"Lilly?"

Breathe, breathe, breathe, "You're allowed to…" breathe, "to wallow, the nurse said that… that it was completely normal."

Concerned, "You need another pause?"

"Yes please."

They stopped and Lilly rested herself against the outside wall. They were almost by her car, but only almost. At least they had gone further than they had to back.

"You know you don't have to actually carry me, right?"

Lilly opened her mouth.

"Because since we got out of the entrance hall I actually haven't really used my legs. You're only here to support me, I can walk."

Lilly closed her mouth.

_Whoops._

But Miley laughed. Her first real laugh in very long and Lilly stopped looking like a goldfish because this was huge. Miley was laughing, she was on her way home, so goodbye hospital, and goodbye nurse (though very cute), goodbye stupid sorrowful days. Miley finally seemed to be getting better.

Miley stopped laughing, so Lilly said, "Want me to get the car and pick you up here?"

The brunette scrunched her nose up, "No. I – I can walk."

"Okay."

And so they walked.

--

It was a small gathering. Oliver, Jackson, Robbie Ray, Lilly, Miley. _Of course_ Miley. She sat there on the couch and smiled. Lilly smiled too, but she was still worried. No one had asked about the notleg – yet. It was coming – soon.

Lilly just had that feeling.

"Take another piece of cake, Lilly." Robbie Ray said and thereafter forced it into her hand.

Lilly's eyes twinkled, "Thank you, Mr. S."

It was happy days, yet Lilly was not-so-happy. It was good, it was fine, but Lilly was not. She was worried and concerned all of those other words reminding of them. But Miley looked better than she had done for days.

The bags beneath her eyes? – almost gone.

The gross hair? – certainly combed out.

The smile on her face? – back with full force.

Miley looked _alive _

"So."

Oliver was about to say what Lilly knew someone would say, but she feared it still, yet knew it had to be done. She praised Oliver, loved him too. For he dared.

"Yes Oliver?"

Miley's voice was strangely shaky, and Lilly had a feeling that she knew what Oliver was about to mention.

Nervous, so nervous, Lilly could see, "How is it?" questioning slightly, even more nervous, "The leg? What's it like?"

A silence erupted between them all. Jackson's hand squeezed Lilly's shoulder roughly, but she did not cry out in pain. Miley did not flinch much. Her smile only faded. Oliver seemed to panic. It was _weird. _

"It's… it's different."

Different?

Elaborating, "I feel like I'm not like you guys anymore. I – I feel like I'm another type of person. I'm cut off from you."

Cut off?

"I think I've got to-" she paused, completely still, in the middle of a sentence, "I've got to find myself."

Jackson's grip loosened on Lilly's shoulder and she moved it slightly, "But, but the leg? Do you feel any different from before? Did your body change?"

Miley closed her eyes tightly, squeezing them together in thought. Lilly held her breath, waiting for the answer. Worried, what would it say? Her answer. What would it be? Was she… had she changed? Was she not the same Miley? Anymore?

_miley miley miley miley miley_

Not?

_lilly lilly lilly lilly lilly lilly_

"I think it's-" she almost chocked, "I think it's already a part of me."

Lilly felt the blue of Miley's eyes dig into her own ones before she even saw it. There was kindness, hope, love in there, and it gave Lilly expectations for the future. A future with them two in it – as a couple. As Lilly and Miley, much more than ever before. She saw kisses and caresses. She saw laughter, playfulness and joy.

She could see Miley on that stage again, saying goodbye, saying hello.

She _hoped_ to see Miley on that stage again.

She probably would… right?

"Daddy?" Miley's voice was low, but it cut through the silence like a very sharp knife, "I need to speak with Lilly now. Alone." There was a pause, "Can ya'll leave for a minute?"

Robbie Ray seemed concerned, but did not say so, for he stood up, followed by Oliver, Jackson, and them three left, leaving Lilly and Miley all alone.

Maybe she would like to comment on their relationship?

Lilly opened her mouth, "Would you like to comment on-?"

Cut off, "Lilly? I'd like for you to do something for me." She reached a hand up, gently touched her own brown hair, "I'd like for you to call my hairdresser and get him out here soon."

Lilly closed her mouth, opened her mouth, "Your hairdresser?"

Disappointed about the subject of the conversation? Yes, certainly.

Miley finished, "I really need a haircut."

Lilly gave her a once over. She _really_ needed a haircut.

--

Another day for Lillian Truscott in the messed up place she liked to call school. She had thanked for the improvement lately, and she felt like he had really listened, because Miley had gotten much better and she would soon be attending messed-up-place with her.

She felt like skipping Math today.

"Do you wanna skip Math with me?"

Oliver's shocked face met hers, "Mom would kill me."

He didn't wanna skip Math with her. How suckish.

"How suckish."

Oliver didn't reply. He followed her. She stopped by her locker and longingly looked at Miley's – she'd soon be there again with them. It would all be better. Lilly knew that.

"Hey."

Lilly turned her head to the side and found Oliver staring at the wall. She closed her locker again, stepped up behind him. There was something on the wall.

"There's something on the wall."

Oliver ripped the poster down, "It's a poster."

Lilly cockily cocked an eyebrow, "Oh r_ea_lly?"

Oliver rolled his eyes, placed the poster on top of her head, left. She reached a hand up and removed the poster from her head, now able to see, "Thank you Ollie," mumbling, to no one. Looking at the poster instead, surprised, "_Talent Show_?"

"Hey."

That was the second time someone said hey to her that day.

Lilly turned around.

Ms. Scribo; "You've got any talent? Well, except your writing skills, but I highly doubt you can use them in such a Talent Show."

Lilly felt her heart beat, "No."

Ms. Scribo laughed lowly, "Well, maybe someone else has got a talent." Winking, "Maybe you can get a certain someone to sing for us."

Lilly watched her, mouth agape.

"And _now_," adding, certainly amused, "get out of here before I ever saw you in the hall without a hall pass."

Lilly squeezed the poster tight and ran as fast as she could.

--

"-want to do this, Miley?"

Miley looked up when Lilly entered the house. She was sitting on a counter, man behind her. Lilly stopped- scissors, comb… hairdresser man??

Miley turned her head backwards and said, certain, "_Yes_. I want to do this."

"But you've always been a lo-"

"I _wanna _do this."

Lilly stepped closer. Something was off. Something was different. Something was definitely not right. Something was very not-on, not indifferent and certainly wrong. Plain down ordinary _wrong_.

Hairdresser man looked her, "She's cray-zay, your friend, cray-zay, I'm tellin' ya'."

Yes, oh yeah, he was probably gay.

Lilly rubbed her arm gently, "What's she up to?"

Miley gave the man a stern glare, then turned to Lilly, smiling, "I'm not telling ya', he ain't telling ya'. I don't want you to talk me out of it." Determined, closed-eyed, "I wanna change – start over."

There was something about her; different. Lilly liked it. She was ready for something new.

Whispering, "I'm not."

_miley miley miley_

Miley looked like she didn't believe it. Like she wouldn't just sit there.

Saying, "You don't believe it."

Suspicious, "Like you'll just sit there."

She fell to the couch, blonde hair flowing behind her, "I will."

_lilly lilly lilly lilly_

"You'll sit there?"

"Totally."

"While I get my hair cut?"

"Completely."

"No interruptions?"

Pretending to zip her mouth, "Without a doubt."

Still very much suspicious, "Can I trust that?"

Nodding, "Totally completely without a doubt."

Miley turned back around and offered hairdresser man a smile, "Cut it."

--

"Wow, you look so different."

It wasn't horrible different. It was good different, definitely good different. But… different nonetheless.

Blue-eyed concerned beauty, "Horrible different?"

"Definitely good different. But… _different_ nonetheless."

"Nonetheless."

Smiling, really meaning it, "I like it, Miley."

Shiny eyes, almost sparkly, "Really?"

"I do."

She reached a hand up and touched her side thrown bangs slightly, "It's not… too short?"

Swallowing, "It's short."

"Too short?"

Lilly shook her head and reached a hand out to touch the back of Miley's head, it was spiky and slightly sticky, "Nope. It's perfect. Looks good on you."

Miley smiled warmly.

Lilly looked at the floor.

All of Miley's hair was down there. Well not _all _of it. But there was a lot of it down there. Long threads of hair in puddles around the barstool. Hairdresser man had already left to meet another client. Lilly still couldn't believe it.

She reached down and picked up a piece of hair. "I'm gonna keep this." She said, clutching it.

Miley jumped off of the barstool, still slightly shaky on her legs. She seemed lighter, different though, different with the hair and like the hair. She went to the fridge, grabbed them each a root beer, "Cheers." She mumbled, "For change and for starting over and for… friendship."

Lilly took her root beer. For change and for friendship? They'd have to talk soon about that. She lifted her hand, "Cheers for a better and happier Miley."

They clinked their bottles. They each took a sip and Lilly stared at Miley again. She was already a lot more smiley and much more giggly. But her hair, her hair was pretty much _gone_. Cut so…

short.

--

The wind blew her hair backwards, sent chills down her spine and sand flying everywhere. She had her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _resting at her knees, pen pressed to the paper but nothing came out of her fingers.

She had so many thoughts about this; already she had the beginning, she had the end and somewhere in the middle; she almost had her poem, but it needed finishing touches; needed work before presentation. But it was soon, and she was almost ready.

She bit her lip and stared ahead again, at the ocean, at the dark sky. She was all alone and she needed peace.

Jackson had gone back to his dorm now but he would be back to visit often to see how Miley was. Robbie Ray seemed much more up and about; he was arranging all that Hannah stuff again, all that needed to be done (which was a lot). Oliver was still being pushed around by his mom, and Miley was ready to go to school on Monday.

Her eyes fell to the paper again, staring at the words scribbled across the page. She was almost there… almost ready. She had been wondering so much about the broken, and now when it was almost gone, she didn't know how to finish off. But Miley was still not… she was still not Miley if she didn't have Hannah. She said that she was changed, different, but Lilly could never say goodbye to that part of her.

Singing was all to Miley and Lilly needed to get her to do that. Not before doing that she wouldn't be completely whole.

She flipped the pages in the _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _until she got to the last one. In the back of it she had hidden the poster for the Talent Show and she stared at it again; singing, dancing, playing an instrument, or any other things considered a talent.

Miley could _do_ this.

"Aren't you cold?"

Lilly whipped her head around as Oliver took a seat next to her in the sand.

Shivering, "Not really."

"But you're shivering."

He placed a hand on her shoulder.

Whispering, staring calmly at her Ollie Trollie, "But I don't feel cold."

He pushed her hand gently to the side. There was the poster. He locked his eyes with her, "Why are you keeping this?"

Why was she keeping this? Miley had always sung as Hannah, she had never sung as Miley. She had to sing as Miley; she couldn't not sing, it would be horrible.

Swallowing, "I want Miley to sing as Miley."

Oliver shook his head, "I don't think that's such a good idea, Lilster."

She looked ahead again, whispering, "Don't try to stop me, Ollie."

"I won't."

"Good."

There was a pause.

"So when's the show?"

She stared briefly at him again, "Soon."

* * *

_I am so sorry about the delay guys, for me it seems like it's forever since I updated. But I've been so busy during the holidays, and my father got hospitalized for a while, so it's been crazy. I had a good Christmas and a happy New Year, though. How about you guys? Did you get well into the new year? My sister got Singstar Disney at Christmas, so I've been singing Hannah Montana songs like crazy ;b_

_I will try to update as soon as possible. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana. _


	9. Chapter Nine: Out

**Chapter Nine**

**Out**

_Out: adv. From inside a shelter into the open air; in or into a state of unconsciousness: adj. openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual._

Lilly listened.

"_Honey, honey, touch me, baby, ah-hah, honey, honey, honey, honey, hold me, baby, ah-hah, honey, honey, look like a movie star, I know just who you are, honey, to say the least, you're a dog-gone beast_."

Was that ABBA?

Was Miley singing… ABBA?

She paused, "Are you singing ABBA?"

Miley turned, smiled warmly, "I'm singing ABBA."

Wrinkled forehead, "Why?"

The brunette paused, turned to smile fully at the blonde, body half in closet, only _half_, "Amanda Seyfried actually. I saw _Mamma Mia!_"

Lilly wasn't in the closet at all, she was out in the open, "When?"

"In the hospital."

"In the hospital?"

"I was bored."

That explained it all.

"And now you're singing ABBA?"

Miley shrugged, "I'm singing ABBA, yes."

Lilly fell back onto the bed, hands behind her head, "Cool."

Miley didn't reply. Lilly stared at the ceiling. Miley searched through her closet. She was still in her sweatpants. Not so good. She had to get ready. Soon. They were supposed to be at school. _Soon_. It was Miley's first day for a very long time. It was important.

She groaned. "I dunno what to wear."

Lilly sat up again, "Wear what you usually wear. It's just school."

The skater did not understand the hassle.

"It's a hassle, Lilly." Miley explained, still halfway in the closet, a pink skirt in hand, "This is something I would usually wear, right?"

Lilly studied the skirt, yes, she would usually wear that, "Usually."

"But I can't wear it now."

Lilly wrinkled her forehead again, "Why not?"

Miley glanced down, "I have a notleg."

_That_ explained it all.

"Oh."

Miley dumped the skirt to the floor, "I might as well throw all of these out."

Thinking it was a bad idea, suggesting, very brightly, "Maybe you'll feel more comfortable once you've gotten used to the notleg. Maybe you'll wear them then."

Fire in her eyes, "_No_." pause, "I won't wear 'em." She stroked a toe across the fabric, "Ain't it sad?"

Lilly agreed, "That's too bad."

Miley sighed, "I'm gonna wear a pair of my jeans."

Lilly fell back again and stared at the ceiling. She had a very bad feeling about this day. She had a feeling that it wouldn't go smooth. At _all_.

"Lilmmhfff."

Lilly sat straight up again. There was Miley, almost out of the closet, "What?"

She sighed, "I have a problem."

Lilly got off of the bed, had to help Miley get her leg into the jeans; they were tight. She reached for Miley's hand, comforting smile on her lips, hoping the singer would be alright. She graced her arm and felt the tingle in the pit of her own stomach.

She looked up and their eyes locked.

_Mamma Mia!_

Fuck maan, Miley was beautiful.

even when only halfway to okay.

Miley slipped and landed inside the closet again.

--

The doors smacked close behind them and never had there been so quiet.

Blue and brown and green and black.

All those colours were on them, and Lilly didn't like it (except she was rather fond of the green). This wasn't good though, and Lilly felt that Miley didn't like it too, for the shorthaired brunette crimpled next to her, and slowly became smaller.

Lilly squeezed her eyes together.

It was like she didn't know anymore. She didn't know her Miley, she didn't know their love. She didn't know anything anymore except writing, but she also knew writing very well. Writing was very nice.

Miley whimpered and Lilly opened.

_Do I really see what's in her mind  
Each time I think I'm close to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time_

She reached behind herself and her fingers searched for Miley's. She didn't know that much anymore (except writing), but she knew that they had something, whether it was gone or still there, she didn't know, but they had (had?) something. It was important to her, and she was going to search for it like her fingers did for Miley's.

She couldn't possibly know what Miley thought, but she could know what she wanted herself. And she wanted her Miley.

IMPORTANT, right?

Yes, Lilly thought so too.

Miley whispered next to her, breath hot on her ear, "Lilly…" it was hoarse, her voice was hoarse, "Are they looking at the hair… or the notleg?"

Lilly squeezed her hand, "Dunno."

Miley squeezed back, "Can we… leave?"

Vague familiar faces in midst of the less-familiar. Lilly heard the murmurs, the whispers, the talks about Miley and Miley's hair. All went on around her, and she stood there, in the bubble she shared with Miley, centre of her universe, she stood there so very confused.

"Lilly?"

"We can… leave."

The hold on Miley's hand, she didn't let go of, she pulled her with her instead, through a throng of people, ignored the stares, the everything, and paused only when it was their lockers. Back against the wall, she stared at her best friend.

Miley swallowed, "I don't know if can do this, Lilly."

Lilly felt sure, felt like the truth, "You can do this." She said. She meant it. She meant what she said.

"I can?"

"Yes, Miley, you can get through everything."

A small smile suddenly appeared on her face.

"You just… you have to come back to me, Miley." Lilly continued, mouth moving without approval, telling stories she had only been thinking, and saying things she should keep to herself, "You seemed so far away though you were standing near and you made me feel alive, but something died I fear."

A swallow.

That was… interesting? Interesting and true, oh yes, _true_ indeed.

Finishing, "I… lost you."

Miley stepped closer, placed a hand on Lilly's bare arm, "Lilly, I really tried to make it out, and I wish I understood what happened to our love, because it used to be so good."

Their love?

Lilly let the smile conquer her face. She knew what their love had been like, and it was about time to talk it out. "Miley…" whispered, afraid of an answer, really, "We need to talk about that evening. About our…" whispering, almost inaudible, "date."

The word tasted sweet on her tongue, but as from that moment it burned Miley's.

Miley was sweet. Miley was gorgeous and talented and funny and amazing. But Miley wasn't ready. She wasn't out and open-minded and she did care of what other people thought of them.

Her face stiffened, "Not now Lilly," she sad, "not now."

Lilly stared at her with feelings, mixed feelings to be exact. When Miley said something like that – she honestly didn't know what to reply to her. She hated her, but she loved her, and she hated the way she was so afraid of what the dumbass people at their school thought, but loved how she could paralyze her with just a single touch.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Lilly turned her head to the side, and though she usually loved talking to her, she had never been happier to see Ms. Scribo because that situation could – and would – have ended horribly.

"Yes please."

Miley gave her a weird look. She kept quiet. Stepped at least two feet away.

"Ms. Stewart, it's so nice to have you back. I hope everything's fine with you?"

Miley awkwardly rubbed her arm, "I'm much better, thank you. Got a lotta stuff to catch up on, though."

Ms. Scribo got her dimples, "Well, I'm glad to get you back in class."

Miley didn't reply.

Ms. Scribo turned to Lilly instead, "Lillian, remember our talk?"

Lilly smiled, "Bunburying, I know. Honour's code." She also held up her hand and didn't feel stupid at all.

Ms. Scribo left, Lilly smiled and Miley had fire in her eyes, "What was _that_ about?"

"Bunburying."

An eyebrow raised, "Mind tellin' me what the crap that is?"

Annoyed, "No Oscar Wilde fan, I see? Well, ain't it sad?"

Miley purred and pulled her locker open with a jag, "Yeah, _that_'s too bad."

Lilly did the same. Not knowing whether to be sad. Or happy. Happy? Yeah, Miley _was_ back, wasn't she? Happy was probably the best idea.

--

Lilly was eating lunch with Oliver and Miley in a cafeteria where all the lights were off.

Weird.

and she felt like Oliver was staring too much at Miley.

So she kicked his leg, "Freak! What the crap are you doing?"

Oliver smiled at Miley and ignored at Lilly, "I just really love the new do." He replied, eyes full of something Lilly didn't recognize and maybe that was alright too.

Miley smiled warmly, "Thank you, Oliver. I rather like it too. Seems to take focus off the leg that isn't there."

Lilly resisted to roll her eyes, just barely, "It's there, it's just a notleg."

"Which means it technically isn't there."

"But you have a leg."

"A notleg."

"But a leg nonetheless."

Miley's eyes flamed when she didn't know what to reply back. Lilly felt like her eyes might catch on fire soon, too. She had started the day out well, though slightly annoyed, and been happy to get the real routine back with her and Miley. But quickly she had gotten annoyed when Miley was irritating and when she didn't want to talk to her about what really mattered – them as a couple.

The silence was awkward.

Oliver broke it.

Thank God!, well… Ollie. Thank _Ollie_.

"Have you been to the Principal's office yet?" he questioned.

Miley's eyes seemed to flame a lot less, "No." she said. Promptly.

Oliver defended, "Maybe you should go." he glanced at Lilly then. Briefly.

Lilly knew that Miley didn't want to go, and there were so many things that Miley didn't want to do right now, but she did them anyway, and therefore she also stood up and did this too. She only did shrug and then she did leave, and Lilly sighed.

She loved that girl, she did. But fuck, she was tired of her Mileyness right now.

One second did not pass by after Miley was out of earshot before Oliver said, "Alright, so what the crap is up with you two?"

Lilly bit her French fry, "Miley is being difficult."

"I thought she was better? That she came back from the broken?"

She chewed, explained with mouth full, "_No_. She's not here yet. But it isn't what this is about anyway. She's being difficult."

Oliver did not seem to get a thing.

Lilly elaborated (just for her Ollie's sake), "Difficult about being out."

The light bulb above Oliver's head turned on, "Oooh…"

Suddenly the cafeteria wasn't too dark.

She raised an eyebrow, "If ya know what I mean, Ollie?"

Oliver snatched a fry from her plate, which was weird since she normally didn't share food, "I thought you guys had already discussed all of this? On your date?"

Lilly shrugged, "I remember shit of our date. Nothing comes to mind, but the doctor says it'll probably resurface. But she doesn't even wanna talk about us anymore. I thought we were gonna be perfect. I guess not."

She was a bummer, don't think she didn't know.

Oliver, this time, raised an eyebrow, "Well, try talking to her again. And you're a bummer, by the way."

Sighing, "And here we go again, we know the start, we know the end."

"The end?"

"You mocking me?"

"That's the end?"

"That's the end."

Oliver paused, certainly lost, "Where were we?"

Lilly bit her thumbnail, "Miley's being difficult!"

"Oh _yeah_…"

"I guess she doesn't wanna be out or something."

That was the only explanation Lilly could give herself. Because she knew her Miley and she knew how her Miley felt for her, and those feelings were true. And they were there and they were huge, and it had to be some other problem if Miley didn't want to date her – it had got to be the 'out' problem, which frankly, had never concerned Lilly; she had never thought much about it, actually.

_Never_.

"So tell me something, Lilly?" Oliver said, like no biggie, like they had these sort of talks all the time, about being out or in or somewhere in between and it was okay, because they were Lilly and Oliver and they _rocked_, "Does your mother know that you're out?"

"I'm not out yet since I haven't officially had a girlfriend. That's sorta what I wanted to change."

Oliver looked struck and Lilly shook her head in disbelief. Hello Triple-O? What happened to your brain cells today?

"My brain cells are just fine, thank you."

Lilly paused. How did he know what she just thought?

Oliver replied, "You do this all the time you know. You say something I've just been thinking and you repeat a lot."

Lilly was baffled, "I wasn't aware that I asked you to elaborate."

"_No_." pause, "But I bet you thought it."

Lilly reached for her juice box, "I do this all the time?"

"All the time."

"Okay."

--

She was watching Miley again. She couldn't help it. She was mad at her before – not so much anymore. She simply wanted to spend time with her and place a kiss upon that pale cheek of hers. They were studying, she had her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _in her lap and was putting finishing touches on the poem for class.

Miley was doing homework for AP Calculus and she had a lot of catching up to do.

Lilly closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like if they were really together and Miley could be truly happy again. Those smiles she sent, they weren't real. There were troubles behind the nice façade, and sure, she was trying, Lilly could tell, but it was tough, and she needed a push in the right direction again.

Lilly turned the pages and found the flyer for the Talent Show, remembered how she had signed Miley up for it. It was soon, and she had yet to tell her. She wasn't sure how to.

The world inside her head seemed to spin and she felt dizzy and every thought screamed to her fingers at once and she needed to write, but didn't know what to write, and it confused her, and it spun and suddenly she didn't know anything anymore.

"_I have a dream, a song to sing  
To help me cope with anything  
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale  
You can take the future even if you fail  
I believe in angels  
Something good in everything I see  
I believe in angels  
When I know the time is right for me  
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream_"

Lilly blinked.

Images of black and white. A mess, a misfit. A puzzle.

She blinked again.

Vague Miley above her, fringe falling down slightly. Mouth moving. Singing.

**Beautiful**.

Her eyes closed for a second, and she sat up in a rush. "What – what happened?"

The light shone into her eyes. It was bright and she needed dark.

Miley stopped, "You were out of it."

Lilly glanced at her. For a second she thought that she might have grown wings as a halo seemed to appear above her head. Because she believed in angels.

"No."

"No what?"

Back down to Earth, please, and suddenly Lilly felt her touch and the brunette was an angel no more. She was right there in front of her, and Lilly wouldn't have to tell her no, to tell her not to leave, she was right there. She was lingering.

A jolt went through her body and Lilly reached for her pen and her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look_.

The muse had suddenly flown right back to her.

It's name was Miley Stewart.

* * *

_I am sincerely sorry about the extremely long delay on this chapter. It seems like it has taken me forever to write. I have a good excuse, because I literally haven't had time to sit down before last night where I wrote this in almost one sitting. There's been a lot going on, but I hope to get more time now, though it is unlikely._

_Please tell me what you thought of this chapter. It is certainly not my best work, and I am sorry it's not longer even after the long wait._

_**Disclaimer; ** I don't own Hannah Montana. The lyrics, and some of the lines actually, are all by ABBA – or, as in here, the movie Mamma Mia! (which is a movie that I love to death ;b)._


	10. Chapter Ten: Confused

**Chapter Ten**

**Confused **

_Confused: adj. Being unable to think with clarity or act with understanding and intelligence; Chaotic; jumbled_

_Happiness floated through her body and she jumped into the air, blonde hair sweeping around her head like a halo. She felt the wind beneath herself and thought that she could never be happier._

_She had kissed Miley, Miley had kissed her- they'd kissed! It was big, it was important, huge, it was… it was everything. _

_And they were going on a date. _

_She felt the ground beneath her feet. _

_- she could _not_ wait. _

--

She felt like maybe it was time for them to talk about it. Like _really_ talk about it.

Miley had been sort of jumping around it, been acting weird and confused, and Lilly did not appreciate it. She knew it had been tough on her lately, but things had been getting better with school and perhaps she seemed to smile more. There was no reason for her to ridicule Lilly the way she did, there was no good excuse as to why she kept mocking her because she wouldn't talk, wanted to have it her way.

Oliver asked her all the time about the two of them.

He said,

"Lilly, have you talked to her about your date? About the two of you?"

Lilly said,

"She doesn't wanna talk, Ollie."

He'd also say,

"Lilster, have you told her about the talent show?"

And Lilly would say,

"…no."

He would then follow up,

"When's The Talent Show?"

Lilly would end,

"Soon, Ollie, it's soon."

It was tiring, and Lilly wanted all _that_ talking to stop. She wanted to talk to Miley now, because she felt like everything was almost back to normal. There was just the matter of a few adjustments and Miley would be perfect Miley again.

Lilly really hoped that today was the day.

They were watching TV in the Stewarts' sitting room.

Miley's eyes were glued to the TV screen, watching The Tonight Show with Colin Lassiter. It was Saturday evening and Lilly wished her and Miley could be doing something else. Not watching TV perhaps?

Softly, "Hey Miley…"

Just looking at the TV, not-so-much-paying attention, "Mhm…"

"Can we- can we talk?"

Heart in throat, wanting-wanting nothing more but for them to be Miley and Lilly – happy couple, holding hands, sharing kisses, sharing love and adoration. All that. And then more.

Shortly replying, still not paying attention, "I'm watching something, Lilly."

Sighing. Thinking that maybe this would never be, wanting it to be, deciding it had to be, "But I wanna talk!" (nice argument, good one, Lillian), "I wanna talk about us, Miley. I wanna talk about our date and us as a couple."

Couple – that word was a nice word… wasn't it?

There was no reply.

"Can we Miley, can we talk?"

Stern, not turning her head, simply watching Colin, "Not now, not now Lilly."

_There_.

That was the standard reply and Lilly knew it. Miley had been saying almost only that every time she asked about their date, and them… It hurt, it fucking hurt.

Lilly clenched her fist, wanted to scream and yell, wanted to hit Miley because she was being stupid, it was frustrating, and Lilly couldn't stand it, no, not at all she could. Objecting, "But Miley… what are you so afraid of?"

No comments.

"You're – you're gonna have to talk to me, Miles. You'll never get out of your closet unless you do."

Still not looking, but at least replying, "I am _not_ in a closet."

Surprised, even more than frustrated, hit the couch with a flat hand, "Yes! Yes you are, Miley! You're just stuck inside your closet, afraid to get out. You're – you're gonna be miserable in there, you know that?"

Angry now, finally some sort of emotion, not just stone face. She turned her head with feisty hair, spiked in all directions, "I am _not _in a closet, Lilly! I am right here on the couch."

Lilly stared at her, felt her open mouth go dry, "…you know what I mean, Miley Stewart."

"I don't wanna talk."

She turned her head away again, and Lilly knew that there was no reason for her to stay. Miley was being stupid, being dumb, and Lilly hated when Miley was like that. Even if she should be acting better because she was better… she still wasn't acting better, and Lilly was losing her patience, she wouldn't be able to ever make her completely whole unless Miley would admit that they had something.

The blonde got off of the couch and took a step backwards out of there; to see if perhaps her loved one would change her mind. But no such thing happened, Miley stared at the TV, and as Lilly opened her mouth to say something else, the volume was turned up.

"…_me tonight we have Mikayla! With the release of her newest CD and an overload of extra concerts, Mikayla has been a busy girl lately, and she says that she can only thank Hannah Montana. Why do you say that, Mikayla?_"

"_Because after Hannah left the spotlight, I've been paid good money to cover all her already sold-out gigs. It's been awesome, and it's all down to her… the _lovely_ Hannah Montana, a – a good friend of mine._"

Lilly took a step back, "That fucking bitch."

Miley just stared at the TV, and Lilly felt worry overrule her body. The expression was blank, the emotion was gone, she was numb. Her eyes were glassy and Lilly feared what would happen if she didn't stop it. No thoughts of anger or frustration, because she loved Miley and when Miley needed her, she would always be there and be ready.

"Turn it off, Miley!" Lilly said, reached for the remote, but Miley held on tight, "Turn it off!"

The brunette shook her head, "No."

It was prompt. It was certain – she couldn't honestly mean that she was going to torture herself that way?

"_So you and Hannah, were you guys close friends? Because you were singing for the same crowd, so was there no competition between you two? It seems very unlikely if you ask me. Wasn't there just a tiny feeling of remorse when one of you did something really good?_"

"_Oh not at all, Colin, best friends are there for each other, we just supported each other, and I've supported her decision about dropping the music and focusing more on her schoolwork for now – and she's still supporting me with my career and whatever I decide to do._"

Exclaiming, "Why won't she shut the fuck up?"

Remorse, oh she was feeling remorse as well.

"Miley, turn that crap off."

When she turned away from the TV and looked at her friend again, she saw tears down her face, she saw mascara running and white face, she saw pain and anger, and she felt sorry, because not only did Miley have to go through a lot of personal pain with the new leg, but she did also have to see the career she'd work so hard for sink down the drain, and the Hannah name slowly disappear.

Reaching for the remote, no problem now, turning off for fucking Mikayla, "Oh Miles…"

She sat down next to her, wrapped her arms around her and let her cry it out. Miley's head was on her shoulder, sobs wrecked her body, and Lilly listened to her cries of pain, soothed her the best she could. It was horrible, she felt horrible, but she still wasn't sure of what to do next.

--

_A starry evening. The night was clear, but not cold at all. Lilly was only wearing a t-shirt and her favourite check-patterned jeans that she knew Miley liked because she said it made her butt look awesome._

_She'd been dancing around all day in joy after the kiss they shared, had been so excited about their date, felt like this was really it, like she had found what most people always searched for but rarely found. She was young, yes, but Miley and her had something, and it was impossible to ignore. _

_She knocked on the door to the expensive Malibu beach house. Her heart was beating. Fast. _

_Robbie Ray opened the door, "Hiya, Lilly, here to pick up Miley?" _

"_Yes." _

_She didn't know what else to say. Normally she could chat forever with Robbie, but she was too nervous now – and he didn't know that this was really a date either. _

"_Miley has been runnin' around like crazy for two hours. Are you girls goin' out on some secret double date, I dunno about? She's gettin' ready as if she was meetin' some boy." _

_Lilly smiled, stiffly, feeling very stiff and weird, "Nah… just going to the movies, Mr. S." _

_Best Lilly smile, and he was happy. _

_Miley then pushed her father aside with a huge smile on her lips and in her eyes, and Lilly drank in her appearance, because it was perfect. _

_Miley, "Hi." _

_Lilly, "Hi." _

--

They were having a talk.

Lilly and Miley and Robbie. They were having a talk. And because Robbie was there, it wasn't exactly the talk Lilly had been wishing for. It was something else.

Miley was talking, "I'm just… so scared of the future, Daddy. I had planned to at least be Hannah for a while longer, even if it has been a good run. But now I just… I can't seem to figure out who I am, if I'm not Hannah."

Robbie now talked, "That's horsecrap Miley, you're you, even if you're not Hannah."

Lilly talked, "Your father is right Miley, it's fucking bullshit to say that. I know that you lost something wonderful when you lost Hannah, but you've got you – you've got Miley, and it's her that the people who really love you want you to be. Just Miley Rae Stewart, because she's amazing."

It was the best she could do. She could understand that Miley was scared of the future, but she had nothing to be afraid of. She might have lost Hannah because she lost her leg, but she didn't lose her voice. And that's exactly why Lilly decided to sign her up for The Talent Show – she still had talent, she just didn't have Hannah Montana.

She still had all the possibilities in the world to make music.

Miley said, now with tears in those eyes again, and she had been crying a lot this weekend, "But music is my true passion, Lilly… It's the thing I'm best at, I'm so happy when I sing."

Lilly reached a hand out, grabbed hers tightly, squeezed, "Then play for me, Smiley, play for me, sing for me…"

Miley turned her head to the side, eyes resting on the guitar by their grand piano. A pause went by. Head turned back, "I can't, Lilly… I don't know how to."

Robbie: "That might take some time, Bud. You've got to mend yourself first, but if you don't start tryin', it'll never happen."

Lilly nodded her head, yes. Yes!

Miley sighed.

Lilly felt like maybe the time was now, maybe she should tell her, just say it, say, "Miley, I've signed you up for the talent show," but she didn't say that, she started out nervous, insecure, said, "Miles? I've… I've done something – for you!"

Suspicious, eyes squeezed together, "What? Lilly, what have you done?"

Her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _was lying on the table in front of her. Lilly reached a hand out and opened it slowly, pulled out the small flyer. She felt nervous, anxious, hoped that Miley wouldn't kill her. She held the sheet of paper in front of her, "I've signed you up…"

Eyes bulging, vein popping, fingers clenching, "You've what!? LILLY!"

"I've signed you up."

"You've signed me up?"

"Yes."

"Without my permission."

"Ms. Scribo seemed to think it was a good idea."

The spiky brunette pulled the paper out of her hands, "And you listened to her!? Instead of asking me! I'm not gonna do this, Lilly!"

Robbie butted, "Maybe it would be good for you, Miles. You'll start out slowly, in a familiar place."

Arms crossed, "I don't wanna sing. I can't sing as Miley, I can only sing as Hannah."

"Of course you can sing as Miley, Bud. She's the one with the talent. No need to hide behind a wig anymore."

Lilly couldn't agree more, a smile, a cheer and she said, "Of course!" shrill, "This is the time for you to stand by your talent! To let to world know exactly who you are."

No response.

"Say you'll think about it, Bud."

Miley tapped her fingers, she looked at them, still not moved at all, "No."

Toothy smile, cuteness, she had that one going for her, Lilly knew, "Pleeeease?"

"No."

Not helping.

Robbie Ray continued, "Ya didn't wanna do that last concert as Hannah, and you'll be miserable without the music. You should do it, Miley."

Thinking, thinking hard, wheels turning, Lilly could tell, finally saying, "I'll think about it."

That was one thing out in the open… one thing left – _date_. Uh-oh…

--

_"What do you wanna do? I haven't really thought of where to go. I just… I just wanted to bring you someplace."_

_Miley smiled and reached her hand out to clasp their fingers together, "I don't care. We could go eat some pizza. It's not the food, it's the company." _

_Lilly grinned, from ear to ear, "How about pizza and a movie then? Maybe something nice is on tonight." _

"_I'd love pizza and a movie." _

_Lilly pulled the brunette closer, ran her free hand through the long brown locks, before they set off down the street to their favourite pizza place. They'd take Casper to the movies afterwards; he was parked for now. _

--

She was doing her best to convince her.

"Sing for me, Miley. Sing something for me."

It looked odd. She had the guitar between her fingers, but she didn't look like she felt home. It seemed awkward, and Miley had never been awkward with any sort of instrument.

"I – I don't feel good with this thing, Lilly…"

Lilly felt really bad for her.

Begging, "But please, you've got to try, Miley."

Nose wrinkles.

Continuing the begging, "Maybe it won't be much today, but slowly you'll do better, you'll be ready for the show."

"I'm not sure I'm gonna do that show, Lils. I said I'll think about it."

Lilly looked at her, "You'll do the show."

"I will?"

"Oh yes."

Sighing, slowly moving a finger across the first string, oddly, stiffly, - weird, "This is not good, Lilly."

Sighing too, slowly reaching for the guitar, taking it, placing it, staring back at Miley, caring, loving, feeling sorry, "We'll try again tomorrow, Miley."

She looked up, fringe falling gently across her face, "I really am sorry I'm this way, Lilly. I know I'm not me, and it's not you, it's because I'm just… not there yet."

Lilly couldn't help but smile softly, too cute for words, couldn't resist, even if the subject was sensitive, "We'll talk about that night when you're ready."

"_Thank _you."

A smile.

Questioning, slightly cheerier, slightly more ready for life, "So? When _is_ The Talent Show?"

"Soon."

* * *

_I am truly sorry about not updating quicker. I feel like such a bad writer. Truth is, last weekend I got overwhelmed with schoolwork, and then I wanted to finish my other fic since it only needed one chapter and it'd be over, so I did that, which I thought would leave me more time for this fic. But then a friend reminded me of a promise, so I had to start working on that as well – I hope to finish it in time._

_Thank you so much for the reviews (and for listening to my rant), I really do love them, they mean the world to me. Please drop off another comment for this chapter, and I mean it when I say that I will really try to update faster this time! _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana. _


	11. Chapter Eleven: Read

**Chapter Eleven**

**Read**

_Read: v. tr. ; __To utter or render aloud; To have the ability to examine and grasp the meaning of; and To determine the intent or mood of_

Today was the day.

And the slightly better demon asked,

Nervous?

No.

Worried?

Nah.

Afraid of reaction?

You could say so.

Especially Miley's?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yes.

- the demon had gotten better, a lot better, actually. It was very nice and it liked to keep Lilly company when she needed it. Which was a lot some days and almost nothing other days. But it was nice to have someone to talk to, share your worries with.

But today was the day, and Lilly couldn't change that. Even if she wanted to.

She wasn't sure if she did.

--

"_Do you want a bite of my pizza, Lilly?" _

_It was nice, pepperoni, cheese, bacon. Yum-yum. _

_Replying, grinning, very much from ear to ear, "I'd like a bite of your pizza, Miley." _

"_It's pepperoni, cheese and bacon." _

"_Yum-yum." _

_She took a bite of Miley's pizza. The taste of cheese was wonderful at the tip of her tongue, but not as much as the taste of Miley was, and it had burned itself permanently onto her tongue since they shared their first kiss. _

_She chewed, "Yum-yum." _

_Grinning, not so much from ear to ear, "Can I have a bite of your pizza, Lillian?" _

_Swallowing, "You can have a bite of my pizza, Mileyan." _

_It was pepperoni, cheese and bacon. _

_They always shared. _

--

"So today's the day, then."

Ms. Scribo placed a stack of papers on her desk and Lilly felt the nervousness in her stomach, but the excitement in her heart. Today was the day. They'd get their assignments back; with grade, and they'd read them aloud in class. She had feared, dreaded, feared it.

But _today_ was the day.

She glanced at Miley next to her, happy to have her back with support. Ms. Scribo knew she needed to be there. Therefore today was the day. _After _Miley started school again.

Ms. Scribo continued, smiling, wonderfully, happy, "I've really enjoyed reading your poems this time. They were all very different, some were better than others, and I even fell in love."

Lilly felt her heart skip a beat.

"No one failed, quite a lot got an A+ - you should be proud."

Lilly almost felt like she was talking especially to her, but she wasn't. She was talking to the entire class – but Lilly was a part of that. She wrote her soul into her lyrics, and Ms. Scribo knew how vulnerable she felt. Yet, she still couldn't wait until she'd read her poem aloud in class.

Miley was _there._

Ms. Scribo smiled, eyes locked shortly with Lilly's, "So who wants to start? _Lillian_?"

Yes, of course.

"I'd like to start."

Ms. Scribo moved away from her desk and reached for the paper on the top, "Yours is on the top – what a coincident."

Lilly pushed her chair back, happy, very happy, for once, "What a coincidink!"

Miley giggled. Ms. Scribo smiled. And handed her the paper. Lilly took it. Breathed slowly in. Turned to the class. "It's called… Lingerer." She said,

_And I often wonder,  
what exactly happens when we die?  
Do our souls fly away,  
or do we stick around a while? _

_Do we see an old head,  
poking through the clouds,  
telling us to hurry,  
us to enter his Heaven House? _

(The rhythm of the poem, the lyrics made her safe, made feel invincible, alright, good. It made her feel like nothing was ever too hard for her to overcome; they had gotten this far, they could get further. It was perfect, it was her and Miley, it was poetry and wheels that mend, creates the perfect A. It was everything, and it was nothing, it was all she could wish for.)

_Does he,  
with a smile on his face,  
tell us time is done,  
and that we have to leave this place? _

_Or what about the ones,  
who aren't quite there?  
Will he force them to the sky  
or let them try to live here? _

(A pause. Slightly. Looking at Miley, locking eyes with her.

Teary Miley Blue Eyes – not so good; moved, saddened, worried about the future.

Lillian – reading, moving people, reading people, seeing Miley's pain.)

"_Lingerer," he will say,_  
"_Hurry to my side  
You shouldn't linger in the past  
The present will skip you by."_

"_Lingerer," he will say,_  
"_Come get your halo and your wings  
Come listen to Maria,  
Hallelujahs, as she sings." _

"_Lingerer," he will say,_  
"_The slow will get a scratchy robe  
My side is free for all,  
a saint, a sinner and a for hope." _

(And then there was a tear.)

_And he will pull his head back up,  
his smile stiff with the unspoken  
And then I wonder for awhile,  
what happens with the broken? _

(It slipped down her pale cheek.)

_The broken souls of Earth,  
ruined with despair  
Who puts them back together,  
Who combs their fairy hair? _

(Teary Miley Blue Eyes – the broken – was crying.)

_Those souls, they are somewhere,  
between their death and life  
Ingenious, they are pierced,  
between wrong and right_

(And more slipped away, ran for their escape. Lilly felt scared, felt frightened, what wouldn't happen next?)

_Their bodies might be whole,  
and their hearts might be pumping,  
but their souls have fled away  
Through the heart's thump-thump-thumping_

(The rhythm, it made her safe. Miley's tears made her worried, but the smile on her face made her proud, surer, sure that maybe it was alright, and that maybe they would be good. And maybe Miley could really see it.)

_The broken with wounds,  
and scars for life  
Not quite ready to leave,  
but just lingering by_

_The broken who have almost,  
given up their fights  
How do we fix them,  
make them alright? _

The class applauded her as Lilly let her hand fall to her side, paper falling with it. She locked eyes with Ms. Scribo; encouraging, proud: Locked eyes with Miley; sad, but happy.

She opened her mouth to speak, "For Miley." She finished.

Ms. Scribo moved to take in her desk, her domain, and said to Lilly, just to let her know, "It was perfect Ms. Truscott. The choice of words, the emotion. And I liked the change of rhythm by the end, it made it final. No surprise you got an A+."

--

"_Did you like the movie, Mileyan?" _

_Breathing on her lip, her cheek, her nose, "I really liked to movie, Lillian, I did." _

_The night was clear, almost cold, brushing against the bare arms, "Do you wanna go to the beach with me? Before I drive you home? And we say goodnight?" _

_She took her hand, squeezed it, made it tingle. They turned down the street, could see the wonderful Casper by the end of the road, "Tryin' to lure me to the beach on the first date? You're a real wild child! How come I ended up here with ya?" _

_Stopping, pausing, pushing, nose against nose, "What did you think was going to happen on the beach, Mileyan?" _

_Locking eyes, holding breaths, thinking, opening mouth, beautiful lips; moving, whispers in the starry night, "I don't know. Something amazing, I guess." _

--

There was a knock on the door.

Heather said, "Lillian, it's for you."

Miley was at the door. The sun was in her hair and behind her, lit her; the fire. She was wearing jeans, a top, flip-flops; she had never been more beautiful with spiky hair and a light makeup. Lilly felt her heart thump. It was a great feeling.

"Lilly."

Breathing, soft breathing.

"Do you wanna go for a walk with me on the beach? A walk? Do you?"

"Do I?"

"I dunno, do you?"

A smile, "Yeah, I do."

She reached for Miley's hand, and she did not pull away.

There was a silence between them as they walked the short path to the beach, there was a silence between them as they walked on the beach. But it was comfortable. It was nice, it was Miley and Lilly. Lilly could feel Miley's fingers against her own; wonderfully recognizable. She could hear her breathing; calming. Her steps; reassuring. It was all she could ask for; really.

She wondered; wondered about them, about Miley and about their first date; dinner and a movie. She had thought so much about it, remembered stuff she hadn't remembered before. The good memories and what had happened between them that night, in the pizza place, in the movie theatre, and on this beach; this exact beach.

Miley had gotten better, a lot better. And maybe it was time to let her know that she was remembering; that she could see it all so clearly in her head, and sometimes outside her head too, when she really squeezed her eyes together, small slits, and imagined, made it happen before her eyes. She remembered how they had teased each other, caressed each other, and loved each other, right that evening.

_Perfection_.

Miley's voice cut through her thoughts, fingers playing playfully, "Lilly, I've been thinking…"

Eager, much too eager; face lighting up, eyes going big, eager, "Yes?"

She giggled, her cute, amazing giggling giggle, "I've been thinking about The Talent Show…"

Oh, alright. So it wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, but still something wonderful; if she said yes, of course, "Oh alright." A pause, a swallow, a voice, a continuation, "What have you decided?"

"I wanna do that show, Lilly."

They paused, turned to look at each other. It was late, but it was Friday. And it was nice, definitely nice, and Lilly felt good. Miley was beautiful, stunning; Lilly felt good, really good.

Moved, "You wanna do The Talent Show?"

Sighing, "Yes, I do. It's gonna be tough, Lilly. But I wanna try. So I've been playing every day after school, I've been really trying." She stared at the water, then stared at the eyes, "So I'm getting better. And I'm gonna try to write something for the show. If I can't write something, I'm gonna pick one of my songs."

"Really? You wanna do that for me?"

Squeezing the hand, reassuring through the hand, "Yes, I really wanna try. Because I know I can't live without music. And this seems great. Maybe once Hannah is forgotten I can start to sing in school, take music classes, and so people won't hear the similarity."

Lilly reached a hand up, cupped her cheek, it was cold, but it was beautiful, pale even. She stared her in the eye, "You're so brave, Miley. I admire you so much."

A swallow, "Can we… can we sit here for a while? Just the two of us? Can I rest with you?"

"Yeah, of course you can."

--

"_It's too cold to go in the water, Lilly! I'm getting the chills here!" _

_A teasing grin in her direction, slipping off her converse, "C'mon, it's just the feet, that's nothing!" _

_Objecting, typically Miley, but so wonderfully anyway, "We're gonna get sick down here at the beach, Lillian!" _

_Hands in sides, looking stern, turning to her, not doing such a good job with the acting, "Mileyan! If we weren't gonna go in the water at the beach, what did you think was gonna happen?" _

_She made a kissy face, "A little bit of this, a little bit of that." _

_Grinning, so much from ear to ear, "That could happen too." _

--

Back at Lilly's place. Heather wasn't there, she was out; on a date, perhaps. It didn't really matter that much. The two girls sat on the couch, maybe Miley should really sleep over. She had some stuff lying around here anyway. She called home. Robbie said okay. It was good.

_Perfection._

Needs just a little more for complete perfection, Lilly decided. She didn't wanna say anything, though. Didn't wanna scare Miley away if she was pushy.

"Feed the horse, yum-yum."

"What?"

Smiling, typical Lilly-smile, "It's just this song I've been addicted to lately. No biggie."

A confused Miley, "Alright…"

"Hey there Miley?"

"Yeah?"

Pausing, "I know you, don't I?"

Breathing, getting closer, "And I know you…"

Agreeing, "We know each other, Miley. Therefore I can read you like an open book, I just know you." Swallowing, moving on, getting closer, going for the gold, "I know that you feel the same as me. And that you're getting better. I can read you."

Getting even closer now, centimeters from each other, breathing, beating, loving, "Lilly, I've been thinking…"

"Yeah?"

"At the beach, I…"

Cutting her off, mischievous grin, knowing it now, knowing it's okay, knowing she can say it, mention it, do it, let her know, "What did you think was going to happen on the beach, Mileyan?"

There, she said it. Done. Now she knows, Lilly remembers. Miley does remember, she has always remembered.

Nose against nose. Breaths mixing, lips touching; love.

"I don't know. Something amazing, I guess."

Whispers in the night, lips exploring, hands moving.

_Feed the horse, yum-yum.

* * *

__Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter, they mean the world to me. I hope you know that. And I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. I tried to write faster this time, but I only think it happened because we have a week off right now (: _

_Please drop me off a comment? I will try to update soon. _

_Oh, and the lyrics, even if they weren't used much in this chapter, are by Fagget Fairys, and they're called "Feed the Horse" – you should check out their MySpace, it's an awesome song, and of course the meaning is perfect ;b_

_And one more thing actually! The poem Lilly read in this chapter, is one of the things that first got this fic started. I couldn't resist, after the poem was there, everything sort of just came together, it fitted one of my other ideas, the idea about Miley losing a leg, and then I sort of just went for it, and tried to make it fit. I really hope you liked the poem. _

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana. _


	12. Chapter Twelve: Fed

**Chapter Twelve **

**Fed **

_Fed: . To serve as food for, or To have eaten and no longer be hungry_

_I love my horse  
I love to ride it  
I love to make love to it too  
So – feed the horse_

The feeling was tense

between them.

Like, Lilly almost couldn't breathe. She felt that if she took out a knife and tried to slice the air up like a cake then maybe it was actually doable. Not that she'd want a piece of air, it was just for comparison.

She didn't really know what to do about it.

TENSE!

Well, you see, Miley wasn't acting as if she regretted their kiss(-es), acting as if it never happened, acting strange, no she simply wasn't acting at all. She was just Miley, her usual self, and Lilly was confused, which meant that, since she had been that a lot lately, she was also pretty much her usual self.

They hadn't talked about it (that was stupid).

Lilly really wanted to. The air needed to be cleaned, to be untensed, and so therefore they should talk. Lilly felt that it was good reasoning, and she hadn't exactly said to Miley they should talk, and neither had Miley – you know, said that they _shouldn't_ talk. They just hadn't really done it yet.

And maybe Lilly was being the stupid one, thinking that the air was tense. Maybe everything was good between them and the next time they were alone together Miley would kiss her again. But that _wasn't _good, was it? It wasn't, see. For if Miley only wanted to kiss her and didn't want to talk, then something was seriously wrong with their relationship to each other, and that was a no-goodie. So maybe the air was really tense, and maybe Lilly wasn't being the stupid one, and maybe Miley was since they hadn't talked yet.

(Well, Lilly could do something about that, couldn't she?)

They should just talk about it. Perhaps Lilly was imagining all these things, and maybe everything was amazing still, and they just had to seal the deal, discuss how to go about it, and then just come out and say it. It sounded good in Lilly's ears, it really did. They had already agreed to get together tonight (that was Saturday), but as for right now… they were hanging out with Oliver on the beach.

"God Lilly! You're so tense!"

_Tense?_

Snapped out of it, "Huh? Te-te-tense?"

Oliver shot her a cocky smile, "Tense, yeah. You need to relax more. Did you sleep on your bad side last night? Your shoulder is hard." He poked a finger into her skin and Lilly cringed.

She couldn't say so, but last night her shoulder had been extremely uncomfortable on her couch, but she hadn't minded – she had had her hands on Miley.

Laughter bubbling next to Oliver, ice cream in hand, sun in hair, and happyhappyhappy, poking finger into Lilly too, "Yeah Lilly, you seem tense! What did you do last night?"

_Secret?_

There was a wink, and suddenly laughter bubbled within Lilly too, "Me? I didn't do nothing. I slept on my bad side last night."

_I love my girls  
I love them big on the top  
And big on the bottom too  
Feed the horse_

_I want to make love to them  
I want them to scream my name  
So I say  
Feed the horse _

--

Here the air wasn't tense at all.

It was nice. It was free. It was fresh. And she felt like maybe she could really spread her oversized zip-up sweatshirt and fly. It was such a feeling to rush across the pavement, kicking her foot once in a while, and only feel the safe ground beneath her feet when she chose to.

She could almost forget everything around her and just live in the moment and be.

Not that she'd ever really want to forget Miley, but it was nice to get away from the intensity while skateboarding her way through the entire park.

_I want to ride them  
I want to make them ride me  
Oh come on!  
Feed the horse yum-yum _

It might have seemed like Miley was totally cool with everything earlier. She had bubbled, laughed, smiled, been happy and said that Lilly was tense. They'd joked about it. – Lilly was really tense. She could feel it. Prickling in her muscles as she moved. But that was because she wasn't sure if Miley was sure; she never was. A kiss was a kiss – but did she want to date her?

--

"So I will see you tomorrow, Lillian."

Heather kissed her cheek and stroke her blonde straws away.

"Yes, have a good shift."

Heather nodded, took her workbag and left the house, humming a happy melody.

Too happy, perhaps? Lilly wasn't sure.

She looked down.

_Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, feed the horse  
Feed the horse, yum-yum_

Lilly reached for her phone, flipped the screen open, heard the voice – _Oliver_.

"Lilster? What's up?"

Trailing a finger across the worn oak table, nails scratching, saying, "Not much. Mom just left for her night shift. I'm bored. Why are you calling?"

Oliver never called without a reason.

There was a silence, but then he said, "I'm just… interested in your life, I guess. Did something happen with you and Miley?"

Lilly squeezed her eyes together, cringed; felt her finger itch, thought that that was weird – him asking now, him asking when it was only yesterday. Not exactly answering, saying, instead, snappy, quickly, _rude_, "Why do you ask?"

Another silence, again, he broke it, hurriedly, nervously, "Just curious…"

_Liar!_

He was such a liar.

"Alright… I talked to Miley."

Waaaay better.

Hey, wait a minute. – Miley!? He talked to… Miley?

Stern, biting lip, kind of hungry, saying, "What did she say?"

"She says you guys kissed."

He was so stupid!

"No Oliver," harsh, harsher, harsh_ly_, "_what_ did she say?"

It wasn't about whether or not they kissed, it wasn't. It was about what Miley said about this kiss, what she felt about this kiss; and Lilly knew Miley had talked to him, because if you can't talk to one friend, you talk to the other.

A swallow, clearly through the phone, "She said she wasn't sure."

_Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, feed the horse  
Feed the horse, yum-yum_

--

_"Uh, Lilly, Lilly! What kinda CDs do you have? What do you wanna listen to?"_

_Lilly opened the CD-holder (even if Miley knew exactly where it was) and tried to dry off her feet before she pushed them into her sneakers, "Take your pick, my darling."_

_Miley sorted through the CDs; Paramore. She then turned to Lilly. Lilly was ready to drive. "Hey Lilly?" _

_Mocking, grinning, knowing she could, "Uh, Lilly, Lilly! Hey Lilly!" _

_Smacking shoulder, but laughing, "Stop mockin' me! I'm tryin' to be serious here." _

_Turning on the engine, smiling, looking at her perfect girl, "Alright, what do you wanna say, Miles?" _

_Turning serious-er, but still her Smiley Miley, "I just wanna thank ya for this evening. I know that this is real – I, I think that I'm so fuckin' in love with you." _

--

HOLY SHIT!!!!

Miley was fucking in love with her!!

_I like my girls  
I like my girls with a twat  
I like my girlies spicy hot  
I want to lick them from the top_

Why had she not remembered this before? Why hadn't she seen that inside her head? That was frigging stupid. It was, - wasn't it?

She had to do something about this; she had to figure this out. Had to really talk to Miley tonight. She did have to do that, didn't she? Had to talk for real? It was important, it was. It was, it was, it was. – IMPORTANT.

_Not_ tense.

(anymore)

(hopefully)

(okay, fuck it!)

"I need to do something."

She stood up from the chair, went to her room; fixed things a bit; better. Then stood up from the bed, went to the bathroom; fixed herself a bit; much better.

Back in her room, her _Book of Lyrics; Do Not Look _was waiting.

…alright. So one would always have time to write, couldn't one?

--

When she met Miley in the door, Miley met her with a kiss. It was quick, it was eager, it was lovely.

Lilly breathed, "Miley – we need to talk."

Blue eyes – huge, mouth – wide open, questioning, "We do?" stopping, stating, "We do."

Hands meeting, fingers intertwining, love is all around, "Come to me."

They moved from the first floor, to the second, up the small stairway, going into Lilly's room. It was neat because she fixed it. There was a picture of her and Casper the day she got him; it was planted on her bedside table and it was very memorable. Next to it was a picture of her and Oliver when they were kids – and then there was Miley; plenty pictures of a Smiley Miley.

They took a seat on the bed, next to each other, close to each other; fingers itching to touch, lips itching to brush, body on fire, _everywhere_.

"Miley."

"That's me."

"I really need to know one thing…"

Stopping, "What? What do you need to know Lilly?"

"Are you sure?"

It was hard, it was quick and painful, but she needed to know this, she needed to know the truth. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to stop herself from taking it further even if Miley wasn't certain but at least she had to ask.

Telling the truth, not lying at all, "I'm not sure about anything anymore Lilly, but… but I know I wanna do this."

Heads moving closer, hands moving apart, moving, noses pressed against each other, whispers in reply, "Come to me."

Fingers started moving, lips started kissing, brushing, bursting through each other. A hand on the back, one on a thigh. A hand beneath a shirt, another in the hair. Eyes closed, senses wide open; it was everything, only them, but still everything.

She could feel a finger up her back, opening up a bra, she could feel a zipper going down; it was fast, but it couldn't be stopped, it was need, it was love, and they were hungry.

_Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, feed the horse  
Feed the horse, yum-yum_

Falling to the bed, clothes coming off; tees, shirts, socks, jeans, and…

There was a pause.

Lilly pulled herself up, stared down, eyes caught onto the shiny object beneath her, in her bed. Miley was cringing, making faces; she was shy. Lilly locked their eyes, held her breath, wanted nothing more than to touch, feeling mesmerized, so caught up… feeling real, almost human and so vulnerable.

Hoarse, slightly worn and out of breath, "Can I- can I touch it?"

Eyes going hopeful, shining beautifully fantastic, "It's icky, Lillian."

But Lilly closed her eyes, closed her ears and bend her head, ran a finger up the metal, swore she saw Miley shudder; she bend even further, pressed her lips against it, turned her head to the side, rested her cheek there, listened quietly to Miley's breathing as the world seemed to speed up around them and they spun around in circles.

"Lillian?"

She lifted her head, brushed a straw of blonde hair out of her sweaty face.

"Come back up here."

And she did, because Lillian wanted this more than anything; wanted to feel it and love it; wanted to be it, be here, be in there.

_Feed the horse, yum-yum__  
Feed the horse, yum-yum  
Feed the horse, feed the horse  
Feed the horse, yum-yum_

It was done. It was over. It was just the two of them, and everything seemed so different now.

Sighing. Not saying anything.

"Lillian?"

Worried, worried that something might be very wrong, but still hoping, saying, "Yes?"

"I'm sure now."

* * *

_Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter. I really updated quickly this time! :b I am so proud of myself, haha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. Please drop off a comment._

_**Disclaimer; **__I don't own Hannah Montana or the song 'Feed the Horse'. _


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Done

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Done **

_Done: adj.; Having been carried out or accomplished; finished; completed, or used up._

"Smiley Miley?"

"Aha?"

"I was thinking."

"_You_ were thinking?"

"That is possible, actually. I'm not just a dumb blonde."

"Sorry."

"Much better."

"So what?"

"What?"

"You were thinking?"

"Oh yeah. I was."

"What about?"

T

_H_

_E_

_N_

_O_

_T _

_L_

_E_

_G_

A slight pause, worried to bring this up, worried to actually say it, "I was thinking about the notleg."

A knowing smile, seeming not to mind at all, still very happy, still very much a Smiley Miley, "Wow. I haven't thought about the notleg for a very long time."

"Well, it's been a few weeks."

Some good few weeks, mind you.

Brown-haired girl shrugging, still seeming happy, "I have the first check-up soon. Probably not a problem. I've been doing alright. I have been, haven't I?"

Nodding, agreeing, thinking that she had been doing better than anyone else, "You've been doing awesome, Miles. You've been happier lately. You haven't had any pains in the leg that isn't there?"

_Phantom pains?_

_Nah. _

Shortly, "Nope."

About to say something.

Continuing though, "I'm done."

Lilly arched an eyebrow, rested a hand on a thigh (whose?), wiped a piece of hair away, said, questioned, "Done?"

Shrugging, "I'm over that. I don't wanna think about it all the time. I just wanna live my life. It won't change – ever."

That's right, Smiley Miley. You have a notleg. It's artificial, it's not really there. But it's not icky, and it won't change, ever. You have it. Deal with it. Be happy. Be with me. Be my girlfriend.

Continuing again, mouth moving up and down, talktalktalking, "So I figure… what's the point? I might as well live my life. Give this a shot, give us a shot, Lilly. And – and I might not have Hannah any longer, but I have Miley and she's just as good, isn't she?"

Leaning in closer, lips barely hovering above hers, almost touching, only almost, "Miley?"

Hoarse, "Yes?"

"She's better."

--

It was now. Or never. Nah, just now.

It was right now and Lilly could feel her fingers itch as she sat there in one of those chairs, watching that stage, knowing that Miley would soon be out there, singing. Because she had tried to overcome it. She had been singing, been playing, been more Miley. She had not only tried to overcome it, she had done it.

So it was now.

The room full? Check.

Robbie Ray, Jackson, Oliver there? Check.

Other contestants pretty much suckish? CHECK.

Lillian Truscott there? Che-che-check. _There_.

Miley ready behind that stage, guitar in hand, lyrics in mind, all dressed up in love?

Lilly couldn't tell, but she was pretty sure that the correct answer to that question would be check as well.

Amber had already done her horrible deed and Lilly really wanted to listen to some good music – please Smiley Miley, just get on stage, won't you? Lilly had no idea what her girlfriend would be singing, but she knew she could not wait to see if she would be able to. She hopefully would not freeze up on stage.

And so then Mr. Corelli entered in his green-slice-brown sweater vest, "Thank you Sarah for that… amazing choir song." He clapped politely, and so did the audience (amazing? Not so much. Could Sarah sing? Nah, not really.), "The next person on stage is Miley Stewart singing and playing a creation of her own."

Lilly pulled herself up in her seat and glanced quickly to the side. Across the isle. There was Ms. Scribo. And she gave Lilly a warm smile. She was Bunburying away.

Oh, and so then Miley came on stage. She looked beautiful and Lilly held her breath. Adjusting the microphone slightly, Miley took her seat, opened her mouth slightly, said, beautifully, "Howdi everyone!"

Laughter rolling across the roof.

She continued, amazingly, "A lot of you might know that I've had some pretty horrible things happen to me these past few months and it has been hard to get back on track. I truly feel though, that it has made me stronger, and I could not have done this without Lilly, who… stood by my side and never gave up. She signed me up for this and made me realize that I could do it."

In her seat Lilly was blushing. Red streaming through her body to her face, feeling dizzy, feeling loved. And special. And Miley was talking to her, about her, in front of all these people and it was incredible and she did not want this moment to end.

"She fixed me and I love her for it. She called me a lingerer, and I'm happy she did. That's why I wrote this song for her."

--

The show was over.

It was good.

And Lilly was nervously tripping on each foot, hovering right outside the entrance to the school, watching through the dirty windows, Miley, Robbie, Jackson, smiling as they talked and chatted with people. She did not want to be in there with them, she needed air, needed space, and she would be with them later when they all went back to Miley's.

Someone cleared their throat behind her, and Lilly turned her head to the side, covering her arms – it was chilly. It was…

"…Rico?"

He gave her a charming smile and a blink, "Toots, it was quite the show Miley put on in there."

Raising an eyebrow, slipping to the ball of her heel, "Well Miley can sing. Surprise, surprise."

Suspicious, squeezing his eyes together, throwing his hair back; so little, so mean and oh so Rico, "She can really sing. That's what I've said before, isn't it?" he guffawed – like _really_, "I've told you so before, Blondie. She reminds me of Hannah Montana."

Sighing. She readjusted her hat a little and looked down at him, "She does?" pause, "And why do you say that?"

Rico crossed his arms. He stared right back up at her, a match for her, definitely, "You know why I say that. Because her voice is exactly like Hannah Montana's. There's something fishy about that, and I still want to find out what it is."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, saying, "Rico? There's nothing fishy about that. She's from Tennessee, alright? They talk like that."

He took a step back, out of reached, terrified of the contact, "Alright… but I still don't like it."

She turned away from him, heard his footsteps leave, and stared through the window again. Miley turned to her for a second, their eyes met, she was talking to one of the music teachers with her father, but she looked bored. A smile, then she turned away from the window, almost jumped out of her pants – Ms. Scribo was there.

"I saw it from the first time I laid eyes upon her."

Startled, confused, "Eh… what?"

Ms. Scribo took a wheeze at her cigarette and started at Lilly through her thick lashes covered in black, "Miley." She blew out and held out her cigarette for Lilly, "I saw the resemblance immediately. I have a – a little sister who absolutely adores Hannah Montana. Her voice, her… her face. Everything. It just screamed out Hannah to me." She paused and moved her hand slightly, "You gonna take a wheeze or what?"

Lilly bent down and gently sucked in; needing to control her nervousness and her emotions and the fact that Miley's cover hadn't really been that great of a cover, and that she was now smoking on her teacher's cigarette even if she didn't smoke, "Thanks-" she coughed slightly, "-I don't know what to say."

Shrugging, dark hair blowing softly in the wind, "You don't have to say anything."

Smiling, "You not gonna say anything?"

She threw her cigarette to the ground, placed the front of her black stiletto on it and moved her leg, "'Course not."

There was a silence and Lilly turned to look through the window again; Miley was still talking to that teacher, showing off her guitar. Lilly felt a hand on her shoulder, turned back around again, smiled up at Ms. Scribo.

The teacher said, taking out another cigarette and her lighter, "She seems so happy now. Much better."

It was nice to have this conversation with someone; nice to feel like she could say anything and it wouldn't be a problem; that she could open up to this person and it wouldn't matter what she said, "I've… I've really tried to fix her."

"You've done a great job then, though it seemed rather Quixotic of you. She wasn't good at all."

Lilly chuckled. Don Quixote? Funny much. Oh yeah, "It did seem like an impossible task."

"But you did it."

"I did do it, didn't I?"

She leaned in closer, not appropriate for a student and a teacher, but since the teacher didn't care, the Lilly didn't either, "So are you two going out now? Did you talk about it all?"

Feeling like she was very close, like almost too close, but not saying anything because she didn't want to, "She's my girlfriend."

She smiled, leaned back, "Congratulations, Ms. Truscott."

"Thank you, Ms. Scribo."

The teacher handed her the cigarette, "Take this, and I will see you on Monday."

Her heels clicked walking away. Lilly couldn't help but watch, heaving on the cigarette – now. The door opened on her left and she greeted Miley with a smile.

Stopping, short hair stiff in the wind, "Smoking?"

Throwing it to the ground, "Don't ask."

"Okay."

--

(_Kiss _

"Hey Miley?"

_Kiss_

"Yeah?"

"I'm so glad you're not broken anymore."

_Kiss_

"So am I."

"I fixed you."

"You unbroke me."

_Kiss kiss kiss kiss_)

--

A starrier evening. The night was clearer, but not colder at all. Lilly was wearing her grey and black check-patterned bowler, a jeans skirt and a simple t-shirt. She knew Miley would love to see her in a skirt for their date. Especially because. Because Miley couldn't wear a skirt herself anymore.

She had borrowed Oliver's car (that didn't have a name, which totally didn't make any sense to Lilly). She was going to take Miley out for dinner, perhaps a movie and they would end up at the beach.

She knocked on the door to the expensive Malibu beach house. Her heart was beating. Faster.

Robbie Ray opened the door, "Hiya, Lilly, here to pick up Miley?"

"Certainly am, Mr S.!"

"Come on inside. She's still in her room, getting ready."

Lilly stepped inside, felt her heart beat faster-er, and moved up the stairs, as one two three, knocked on Miley's door, couldn't wait to see her again; perfectly, "Girlfriend?"

Door opening, Miley through the crack, "Hi."

Pushing the door open, entering the familiar bedroom; finding Miley only in her underwear, dresses thrown across floor and chair. The blonde took a seat on the bed, "Wow, so yeah. Will you go out like that?"

She let her eyes linger at the valley between her breast, the curve of her hip, the lace of her underwear.

Miley reached for two dresses, "You wish, but I just can't choose."

Quickly deciding, quickly just saying something, "The red one."

Threw the black to the floor, the red above her head. Turned to the mirror, "The red one, I agree."

Moving to the door; butterflies in her stomach, geese bumping across her skin; outside, in the hall, stopping – Miley? Turning back inside, Miley still in front of mirror, "Eh… Lingerer?"

Turning around, teasy smile across her face, questioning, happy, oh so happy, "Who are you calling a Lingerer?"

Pausing, loving the way they were and they way they are; loving all about the moment, and the persons they had both turned out to be, loving exactly where this was going, "You… Miley, I'm calling you a Lingerer."

There was a moment.

And it was almost perfect.

"And thank you… for that, Lilly."

They were almost perfect.

Softly, "…anytime. Miley, anytime."

Their eyes locked, and for the first time in a while, Lilly really felt that it was all going to be okay.

* * *

_So there you have it. Finally, after a sort of delay (which I'm sincerely sorry about, btw), I have given you this chapter ;b I really hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as well as the entire story. I've truly enjoyed writing it and your support has been the most important thing. I'm very happy that even though this is sort of different, so many still seem to enjoy it._

_A special shout out to Skye Montana because she pointed out something very important in her last review; something I knew I had neglected, but only decided to incorporate in this chapter because she mentioned it as well – that really did the trick, and it gave this chapter something extra, so thank you so much for that._

_And again, thank you all! I've loved reading every and each review from you guys, you've been the greatest readers ever._

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Hannah Montana, however, this entire storyline and the ideas for this piece of fiction are all mine and may not be used without my permission._


End file.
